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I need job advice. Calling the PCE brain trust
So. The latest development in my job news is this. My mat leave was approved (kind of had to be, seeing as 8 weeks are state law and all). However, there is a problem with my request to reduce out of state travel for the 6 month period following my return. This is an accommodation made specifically to my ability to breastfeed, which I've made clear. I've also made clear that I am fully confident in my ability to do my job at the 100% level regardless of how often I travel, and I've given a detailed strategy to this point.
I was told that I am "welcome to come back after maternity leave so long as I am fully able to do the job as defined, which includes travel".
I know that in certain cases, women are protected for requesting break time/space to pump. Would this kind of an accommodation be considered reasonable? Would I have any protections under the law for getting fired? I live in Massachusetts.
I guess the second part of my question is more @ related. If given the choice between keeping my job or not...could I make traveling work? I typically travel out of state for around 3 days at a time, and stay in government rate hotels (no kitchenettes with refrigeration, for example).
Thanks for any advice or input. I really appreciate it.
Re: I need job advice. Calling the PCE brain trust
How frequently is the travel?
I don't know...It will be a pain but it can be done. So from that standpoint I don't know if you would have any protections (of course I am not a lawyer though). I am assuming the protection would be for you to be able to pump (which you can still do and travel), not necessarily physically be there to nurse your child. It will require you to work a freezer stash though. Also I am not sure what kind of hotels you are staying in, but even if a refrigerator is not standard in every room, they generally have a couple of rooms with them. I do think it would be a reasonable accomodation for them to make sure that you have access to hotels / rooms that will allow you to store the milk as necessary to avoid tossing out a lot of milk.
Cookie, I don't have a choice of hotels or even rooms. I have to utilize a government rate, and hotels usually only block off a small number of rooms for that rate. I know my employer wouldn't consider flexibility on this point, because the government rate is the maximum amount we can bill our client for travel, and I know he won't pay the difference OOP.
ETA: to answer your question, travel can be as frequent as 50% of the month. I've also gone 3 month periods with no travel. I'm usually asked to go on about a week's notice.
Sorry you're dealing with this sucky situation.
I think a lot of this depends on how much you want/need to keep this job, your financial situation, and how much your H will be willing to step up to the plate. I have a friend who traveled a lot for work when her son was a baby and she used to fed ex her pumped milk back with dry ice. I'm sure this was pretty expensive though so I'm not sure how practical of a solution it is. Given that people do it though, I'm not sure how much you'll be able to push your employer, esp. as he or she sounds like a real jerk.
How committed are you to bfing? Would quitting and SAH work for you while you look for a new job? What does your H think? You might be able to build up a big enough freezer stash so this won't even be an issue.
I would definately try building up a freezer stash especially given you said it could be months before you have to travel and you wouldn't be sure how long either.
Other than that, I have no advice. Quite honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would BF until the first long trip and then transition from freezer stash to formula.
I wonder if they have plug in coolers. hmm
Click me, click me!
Pump and toss while traveling
Give up travel and get another job
Those are the options I see
Gee, why didn't I think of that?
I am so sorry, this is the ultimate in suck.
If you aren't offering for me to come up and sack jab your boss, I really see HaB's option as the best. I am not exactly sure I could emotionally handle pumping and dumping which seems like your only option if you are gone for an extended period of time.
I suppose there is the off chance you could find a hotel willing to freeze it for you but I just wouldn't feel comfortable about that.
*hugs*
missus - at a lot of hotels you can request a refrigerator for medical purposes, even if they don't come in the rooms by default. Can you call a couple of the ones you would normally stay in to ask if they do this?
They're being douches but I don't know if you have any protection under the law on this.
ETA: Breastmilk is fine in a refrigerator for 3-7 days, so I don't think you'd really have to freeze it while at the hotel. Then just use an insulated bag for travel.
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i have had a few trips while bfing. i have been able to contact the hotel and use one of their fridges for the days while i am there (slave to the gov rates as well- but call around you can usually get a ritz if you book in advance). kind of strange but i used the labeled soft sided cooler from my pump and it seemed to work out fine. keeping the milk refridgerated not frozen was key because it lasted longer that way (3-5 days in the fridge, once thawed it needs to be used within 24 hours).
if you have to travel more often- pumping and dumping would suck but if the kiddo was both formula and bf it may be the best of both worlds for you (if you like your job otherwise).
i built up somewhat of a freezer stash on maternity leave by pumping for ~5-10 mins after he ate once or twice during the day. as soon as he dropped his midnight-ish feeding i would pump right before bed too.
good luck! it is possible but you may need to be willing to do formula as well as breast milk.
I think I would cry from frustration if I had to dump three days of breastmilk.
I'm hesitant to trust that it will be awhile until I need to travel. For example, I was unexpectedly on the road for the entire week after I returned from my wedding. So I can't really plan on building a freezer stash, although I'm certainly going to try on mat leave, if not for traveling than for daycare and so on.
FWIW, I wouldn't put it past my boss to insist that I travel imemdiately upon return to test me. This isn't totally relevant, but remember we are talking about a man who, upon learning of my pregnancy in December, has verbally insulted me and assigned physically inappropriate tasks as punishment for getting pregnant.
To that end, I am absolutely unwilling to give up on breastfeeding solely because he is a hairy dildo. I am willing to accept that BFing may not work for a variety of other reasons, and if so, will happily nourish my child in whatever way possible. But he will not be the reason I don't do it.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/64014653.aspx
This is a good thread (sorry no clicky on my phone). I swear there was another recently by the same poster about longer travel but I can't find it. You might page her.
I like the point about refrigerated meds - you might have to push, but they should be able to accommodate.
Is it doable? Sure. Build up a freezer stash, pump and keep what you can, supplement as necessary. My approach to BFing has always been to just do what I can one day at a time. On days when things aren't perfect I try to think of pumping as protecting my supply rather than just a means to a specific amount (so, if I needed to pull from the freezer or even supplement, as long as its a temporary/rare situation and I'm pumping through it, it should remain temporary).
OTOH, I'm a worrier, and frequent trips would stress me out that it would hurt my supply long term. You might have as little as 9 weeks to build a freezer stash, which isnt long, esp if you intend to wait to intro pumping/bottles, and there's a lot else to stress about in those weeks. If I were unsure about returning to work, this would certainly go in the con column.
On the third hand, I've always been shy about making decisions on assumptions that might not work out in the first place. How would you feel if you quit because of this, and then BF didn't work out anyways? Having a good supply until one year isn't a given for any woman, so who's to say you'd know if it made a difference.
Damn, I'm no help at all am I? I'm really sorry you're going through this, I wish there was an easier option. How's the job market in Mass?
Also, quitting is not and has never been an option. We need the income, so if I leave I will need another job lined up. I'm still applying to other jobs but we all know how long that can take.
If I were fired over this, would I eligible for unemployment?
I don't see how you would be fired for this unless you refused to travel. I certainly understand it is not a preferable situation, but as many posters have pointed out it is doable so I am not sure why refusal is on the table.
missus, I have a friend from my local board who had to travel a lot after she was back from her mat leave w/ her first (her daughter was born about 2m before her really busy travel time at work). I'm going to direct her to this post, b/c she has some experience with pumping/travel/work and getting a fridge for medical purposes. Actually I might direct another local to this - b/c she travels a lot and EPs for her son.
They will probably have some good tips for you even if they can't help with the protection stuff and your request.
They do. I have one of these:
It plugs into an outlet and has a car adapter. I bought it for an overnight travel trip for my job. It worked very well. It's also not very big, so you could certainly pack it in a suitcase or if you travel by car, you can pack it in the trunk. I picked this nifty little thing up from amazon.com for about $50.
Ditto the others about working on your freezer stash.
So far we are just at the point where I've made the request. They have indicated they will deny it, and if I refuse to travel, I'll be fired. I haven't refused yet--that's why I'm here asking the questions.
This is what I was thinking. Even if you can't build up a stash before you travel, you could pump while you're gone and keep the milk in an isulated cooler with ice (or dry ice) or see if the hotel will refrigerate it for you. And your baby can have formula while you are gone the first time or two if you haven't stored enough milk yet. As long as you pump frequently while you're gone, your supply will stay up and supplementing with formula for those few days won't hurt.
I am so pissed for you, BTW. I hate that this is the richest nation on earth and women have to deal with these ****ing issues that should not be issues at all.
yep
yes
Does your husband have any leave time? I was thinking that if you had to travel right after your maternity leave that your husband could take leave and you could bring them with you on the road if you had to until you can build up a freezer stash.
Just go out to your backyard and pick a job off the job tree! Make sure you pick one with a good salary, a 6 month maternity leave, and a decent health insurance policy!
Okay. Thanks all.
I'm feeling more confident that I can actually pump while out of town. Obviously it will be a logistical nightmare (the cooling/storing of milk is just one part of it; finding places to pump at my clients' won't be fun either), but it sounds like this is doable. So that has been so helpful.
I guess the kicker for all of this is how totally unnecessary this is. My boss just invested major $$ in a videoconferencing room for our office--I could easily do my work remotely. Easily. None of this is the point. He is taking this approach to punish me, and he knows it, and I know it, and everyone at my company knows it too. So perhaps that explains why I'm having a hard time with this. There isn't a reason for this level of inconvenience and effort other than to make a showcase out of me, making the irresponsible decision to get pregnant and have a baby. So, in this context, there is still the possibility that I will make it work and still get fired. hence my questions about protections.
Anyway. Thanks for all of your input. I do appreciate this--you are all so helpful.
I want to point out that that is not necessarily always the case. Your boss sounds like someone who would fight it tooth and nail and from experience I have had someone fired who I fought over paying their UE and I won. It's rare but it happens. The odds are in your favor though.
Hm. He does have a 2 week paid pat leave, but he will be taking it right after the baby is born. He has generous vacation time though, and the ability to work remotely, so that's always a possibility. Thanks.
not sure what industry you are in but, in my ridiculously male dominated field it disturbs me how much these men know about breast feeding and pumping. sure there are some that get super squicked out by it, but for the most part people are super accomodating.
i was at a large working group meeting and i had a man (completely unprovoked by me) say that he noticed my "bag", followed by "my wife breastfeeds our daughter and has to pump at work. if you need to use my office while we are here for 2 days just give me a nod and i will unlock it for you". looking back it sounds slightly creepy but at the time i was just happy to not have to hole up in the handicap stall.
i can't promise, but it may not be as bad as what you are thinking.
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