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being pregnant update... pretty flameful vent
I barely slept last night b/c I was worrying... just laying in bed worrying about my life and what things are going to be like from here on out. i am incredibly unhappy about being pregnant right now. I just want to cry and never stop crying.
This is not good timing at all. I know that everyone always says that, but I seriously do not want to be a young mom. my parents are older, and i've NEVER wanted to have kids before my 30's. I f*cked that one up gigantically....
I'm also scared to tell my mom, b/c I don't want her to be disappointed in me, and i think she's going to be. And i'm also kind of hoping that the pregnancy doesn't stick, and that if I don't tell anyone, then I can just pretend like it never happened.
I didn't want to come to work today. I need time to process this, but I have a lot to get done today so I had to come.
Sorry, i just needed to put all of this out there.
Re: being pregnant update... pretty flameful vent
I don't think that is flameful at all. There is no right answer or right way to feel. You are entitled to your own feelings and responses.
Pregnancy and parenthood are huge commitments and life transitions--not feeling ready for this is certainly appropriate.
Sending you hugs and good wishes as you process the news.
You JUST found out, and it wasn't planned. Worrying and being uncertain about this doesn't make you a bad person. Give it a little time to sink in.
First of all, stop beating yourself up about how you feel/don't feel. You JUST found out.
Try to be kind do yourself.
Second, you don't have to tell anyone right now. It is very early. Wait. I don't know how close you are to her (would she be one of the first people you told?) but wait. I know you are worried about her reaction, but if you are worried about her being upset, YOU being upset is only going to make things worse.
I know there's no way to not think about it, but maybe going to work and having distractions is a good thing.
Crying is okay, too. We're here if you need to vent!
(((sake)))
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you just found out. You don't have to tell your mom right away. You deserve to have time to think about everything and decide what you want to do.
71 workouts completed in 2012
and at the risk of sounding like a coldhearted biotch, you do have options.
my H is very against abortion unless there are certain circumstances, like rape or a pregnancy that is going to certainly put the mother's life at risk. I knew this when I married him, so I guess that's a "risk" that i decided to take....
also, i KNOW that MANY people who are much worse off than us have babies all the time, and I feel stupid being this upset about it, when we both have jobs, and a house, and families who will ultimately support us. and it's not like i'm 16 and pregnant, i'm 26, i should be able to handle this....
I just thought I had A LOT of time before I had to worry about this.. plus i didn't ever even want to be pregnant at all, and I only want one kid ...and i wanted to be able to adopt.
and yeah, i know i got flamed to high hell for wanting an asian baby girl... but thats the little family picture I've had in my head for a while now, and I feel like that all got taken away from me too quickly.
I think what you're feeling is completely normal, not flameful at all.
You don't have to tell anyone right away. Give yourself some time to process what's going on and think about things.
((hugs))
i'm sorry - you've gotten some good advice here. i think it's fine to feel the way you are feeling. it's going to take time to process.
were you on birth control?
Yesterday as I'm sitting there crying, looking at my 2 positive pregnancy tests, I told my H, "ok, wellll..... I guess we need to pretend we're happy and take pictures of these, with us... smiling. so that the kid doesn't know how we really felt" so we did...
Oh man, I'm sorry. I was really, really upset when I found out I was pregnant with DS. I cried for days. The kicker is we were not preventing because we were ready to try for #2 but I just didn't think I would get pregnant so fast. I'm madly in love with my son and he is definitely an amazing addition to our family.
Give yourself a week or so to come to terms with it. Day by day it will seem more doable to be a mom. It's shocking at first. You don't have to tell a soul yet.
yes I was on birth control, but I had taken some antibiotics at some point in time last month, and we didn't use condoms b/c we're idiots.
and also b/c i've been on birth control for 9 years and had to take antibiotics lots of times, and it's never resulted in a pregnancy, so i really wasn't worried about it, like AT ALL.
damn.
Zombie hugs
You've got to let go of this notion of what you "should" be feeling or doing. How ready you are for a baby at 26, or what pictures you take of your positive preg tests....its irrelevant. The sooner you let go of these expectations, the better. If you decide to go ahead with this pregnancy (and it sounds like you are), there are going to be many points at which fantasy/expectations deviates from what will actually be, and you can't add guilt to the emotions you will already be experiencing.
I've spent the majority of my own (very planned, wanted) pregnancy feeling emotionally bereft and depressed. That alone has been nearly unmanageable, but the guilt? The guilt is consuming. There are very valid reasons to feel depressed or worried or unsure about pregnancy, but the guilt has no rational basis. Its your life, and you are experiencing this in the way that is appropriate for YOU. Not anyone else. I'm learning the hard way how challenging it is to let go of the guilt that I should be feeling more excited about this baby, should be more positive about the pregnancy. In the end, its my experience and I've found that it is far more common than you would think.
(sorry that was so long)
Sake, this is exactly what happened to me, word for word. And I promise I felt emotion you are feeling. I wish I could give you a big hug.
((((big hug))))
We're here to vent when you need to. Don't beat yourself up over this. Things tend to work out in the end.
Both kids were not surprises to us. They were planned and when I found out I was pregnant I still freaked the out. It is so normal to have those feelings because, yeah it is a big deal. So do not let anyone try to tell you otherwise.
Let yourself feel the way you want to feel and know that it is OK to have those feelings. I like the way Stellas put it. It was "decided" for you so you need time to process it. Take all the time you want.
Just stay here on ML to vent as much as you need. Do not, I reapeat, DO NOT go to the bump
You are entitled to your emotions, do not feel bad about any of them. Plus, we've witnessed all of them from other nesties, unplanned pregnancies happen, whether it's a first, second or third baby. Don't beat yourself up for feeling disappointed.
You can consider making an adoption plan if it's not the right time for you guys. Don't be ashamed by this, many married couples in your situation have done just this.
Whatever you guys decide is right for your family will work out. Sending you lots of hugs and hope. You're going to be alright.
((hugs))
Everyone said it best, take time to wrap your mind around it. There's no need to tell anyone yet.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's a difficult period of time for you. Things will turn out okay. Big hugs
formerly VXS
This isn't flameful at all. And I can guarantee that if anyone dares come in here and start that "You should be grateful you can have kids!" shiit, they will be cut into a million tiny pieces and fed to a lion.
I'm glad you told your endo right away. Mine is always on my case about making sure I tell her as soon as I want to try (which is likely never) and if anything happens, to make her my first call because pregnancy can send diabetes into a tailspin. Good luck and you'll be fine (at least in the diabetes sense).
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
awww sweetie, I'm in the same boat...
unexpectedly pg at 42, we are soooo not in the financial position to have another baby, we need to upgrade our car and then there's 4 years plus of daycare costs, I'm already starting to show at 4 weeks, and all I can imagine is my Dad and my MIL getting so upset when we break the news to them because they know how much we've been struggling lately, so right now a baby would not be a blessing (however my H thinks differently)...I'm in complete denial too, haven't started my prenatals yet, it's just painful to even think about this right now and I can't begin to wrap my head around it.