Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: being pregnant update... pretty flameful vent
I think I was about 11 weeks at the dr.'s appointment to confirm the mc, but it happened around 8 weeks - probably within a day or two of my first appointment to confirm the pregnancy. So that was strange. And really bad timing, really - because after we went to the first appointment we called family with the news. (Side note: In that respect our situation is different because our families were nothing but thrilled, so I'm sorry you might not have that same support.) But anyway, we called and got everyone excited, and it's like, if only my appointment had been even 5 days later, we could have spared a lot of other people some pain. But I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I remember before testing, praying that I wasn't pregnant. And when I got the bfp, I'm pretty sure I prayed that God would take it away. And how awful is that?! I still feel really guilty about that.
But I will say this: when I went in around 8 weeks for my first appointment, they went ahead and did an ultrasound because I had been spotting every day. We saw the baby and even saw the heartbeat flicker for a moment. And that was pretty incredible. I still wouldn't say we were "excited" or "happy" at that point, but it was just kind of awesome (like, awe-inspiring) to see that little life in me. And at that moment I was like, "What in the heck am I doing, praying that this life is taken away?! What's wrong with me?!!" And I never looked back. From that moment on I was determined to take the best care of that little life that I could, and I knew that eventually I would be excited and we'd love that baby with everything in us. I knew that eventually we'd get there, even if it took right up until the moment that baby was born. I guess you could say that at that moment, I really wanted to want that pregnancy. So there's that.
My son was an unplanned pregnancy. I totally get it. It is okay to take awhile to accept this. Heck it took me the whole 9 months. :-)
But the moment I met him as cheesy as it sounds I knew this was one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Best mistake I have ever made. :-)
I'm just going to ditto those who said that they freaked with their planned pregnancies. I can only imagine how big of a blow it is to get hit with an unplanned pregnancy.
But, you know what? It will work out. It will. You don't have to be in the ideal situation.
But you are also allowed to take whatever time and whatever path you need to take to be okay with this. It surely doesn't happen over night.
hugs and hang in there.
Oh, sake. I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety and sadness. Pregnancy is a huge change and your reaction is completely natural. If you can take tomorrow off, do it. We are here anytime you need to vent.
Hugs.
Is your H also hoping for a miscarriage?
Have you brought up the topic of abortion with him again? A lot of people are against it until they're put in a bad position.
FYI, considering it and then later choosing to have the baby will not make you a bad person. You would just be verbalizing what you're already thinking and feeling. It IS an option, even if you're just ruling it out. You can at least discuss it.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
H basically said "Yeah, the timing SUCKS, but we were always going to either conceive/adopt a baby at some point, so I guess it's better NOW than 4 years ago when we had no jobs and weren't married"
I don't think he's hoping anything at this point. I don't think he would be devistated if I had a MC. he also was not as upset about me being pregnant as I was. or at least not visibly upset, and he slept and ate fine last night... usually if he is VERY upset about something he doesn't eat, and can't sleep at all.
We are not going to get an abortion. I know that it's the right choice for some people, but I don't think that I would be ok with making that choice for myself, and I know that H is very against it.