Married Life
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Christian wives submitting
yes I truly am the worst Catholic ever for second guessing this.
That's cute Nurse. Sounds very judgmental. Last time I checked, God is the ultimate judge. So why don't you cut the snark and mind your own damn business?
If spouses aren't willing to put each other first (without a 'god' in the middle, muddling everything), it won't last.
This whole thing is f*cking annoying. To the "believers" - really, if it works for you and your marriage, great, have at it. But, please stop acting all holier than thou because your a "true" believer. There is plenty of craziness in the new testament that DOES NOT relate to modern day AND that you would not practice in your day to day life.
Just be a good person and let other people be. Let other people make choices for their lives and let God decide on whether or not they are worthy of salvation. And in the meantime, please, SHUT UP!
If you would have read the OP you would have known that I was very clear that I was not telling anyone else how to practice/live their marriage.
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
The namecalling is disappointing in here. I'm particularly grossed out by the judgments over who is a "true" believer or a "true" Catholic and who isn't, and the vaguely threatening "maybe you'd be more comfortable sitting in another church" bullsh!t.
Truly, the self-proclaimed Christians need to work on their grace a little.
Submission in marriage is a private arrangement between a couple and God, or an individual and God. There is no need to shout it from rooftops, and quite obviously not everyone is going to agree with something so clearly controversial; so my only conclusion is that people post these things in order to deliberately drum up drama and anti sentiment in order to feel better about their choices. Defending a choice shores up your own reasons for deciding as you did, after all.
Just... practice your religion the way you see fit. And don't sit in judgment on other people if you're a Christian. It isn't your place to decide who is or isn't a good Christian or a good Catholic.
This post is ridiculous.
I don't really every get into these discussion boards, but I must ask you: Do you 'follow' the ten commandments? I'm sure you do. Guess what? Those ten commandments are in the OLD TESTAMENT. You say a Christian shouldn't pick and choose what they follow in the bible, but in the Old Testament you can? Your logic has serious fallacies, in more than one area. This is just one example. Read your bible.
Sincerely, an atheist.
This is my view on it...and mind you my views have evolved over time, pretty drastically...
I grew up with a mother and father who were abusive. My father, mostly physically. My mother, verbally, emotionally and financially. She was most abusive to him, and bullied him, disrespected him, and called him every insult you can think of.
Now, I am married to a very sweet, very caring man. He is very kindhearted, yes...but he does not like being treated as if he is stupid or incompetent. Being disregarded as useless, ignorant, worthless, or inferior in intelligence (unlike my father, my husband is more intellectual and emotional than physical). He hates feeling helpless or stupid.
This is something I've learned the hard way sometimes...if I yell at him for not making an appointment for the doctor, or if I berate him for parking in the wrong area and getting a parking ticket, he is going to shut down, fume, withhold affection, and be cold to everyone for a while.
But if I am kind, not BABYING him but showing understanding of difficulties, showing support for passions or interests or new opportunities, and encouraging him to pursue his goals and expressing the simple sentiment of "I love you. I believe in you. I know you're going to do great and I love you no matter what.", he is going to glow. He smiles, he pursues those goals, he feels a bit of courage to go forward and grab that bull by the horns.
It is not so much being "submissive" as being understanding, supportive, and encouraging to a WORTHY man. If a man is violent, or abusive, or selfish--and I've dated a few of those in the past!--he hasn't earned any respect. He's earned a dumping by the unhappy girlfriend and quite a few months of singleness until he realises what he is doing wrong (maybe, we can HOPE). But my husband has EARNED my respect. He's a bloody genius, he's gifted vocally, he is the next Peter Jackson (or maybe Ron Howard) and has written some incredible screenplays, he's deeply compassionate towards those who are less fortunate, he is hardworking and he is a very tenderhearted soul who literally views his two cats as children. He's committed to me, making it clear after we'd been dating for two months that he was interested in marrying me and purchasing the engagement ring, and proposing 5 months later.
He has EARNED my respect. And if some want to view me as "stupid" or "unliberated" because--gasp!!--I respect and cherish my husband, that is on them. Our marriage does not need the approval of trolls on the Internet who view anything aside from their narrow view as "".