Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Need advice. DH doesn't want sex. (long)
Hello. Welcome to the boards, I'm new here too.
I wish you the best of luck with trying to handle this. I just commented on another girl's post kind of similar to your's. My H has an EXTREMELY low sex drive, and I have spent many a night crying myself to sleep, feeling like less of a woman...etc...etc...etc.
I did see where someone mentioned above and this is true, that he needs to work WITH you to see what the root of the problem might be. He sounds very defensive whenever it is brought up. Trust me, it is difficult for my husband to talk about but we do talk about it and we are doing our very best to get through it. Definitely open up the conversation about going to see a doctor (maybe together if he's open to this) to see about getting his testosterone checked. I know that he sounds like an *** but I know that you just got married and aren't ready to throw in the towel yet.
Do what feels right in your heart & I wish you both the best.
Wow, I never meant for this post to get so out of hand. Some good advice here, some worthless. Things are better between us now; we've talked through some things and worked through a lot. Christmas with our families was great and I think we're getting our mojo back. We agree that we both need to work on things in our relationship, just like every other couple does.
To those people who say I did not "heed" the advice from August '09 posters when we had issues before, that is so not true. We did work through the things that happened back then, and chose to get married whole-heartedly and with the past put behind us. Nobody could live every day drowning in past mistakes. Everyone has to make decisions for themselves in this crazy world, and that was our decision.
Thank you to those of you who have offered helpful insights on here. Un-thank you to those of you who have attacked my career, my insight, my intelligence, and my cleanliness. (dirty underwear on the floor? seriously?) Again, I hate that things got so nasty on this post.
This is a good take. Honestly, for us visual guys it can change sometimes when you get married and you stop trying to "impress" him. I know of a lot of couples where things are different after they are married for this reason. Its the sweatpants comment he made that is a classic example. He probably just wants to see you dress to impress for him again. My wife wears a lot of sweatpants and stuff like that and she never did when we were dating...that kind of stuff isn't a turnon.
That said, if my wife did something like nibbling on my ear or touching my stuff, that would be enough to get me to jump on her. I don't need a written note!
Try just dressing a little nicer around the house and see if it makes a difference...maybe let him catch a peek in a short skirt or something, i think he'll quickly jump to attention!
Don't listen to the fatalists in here that are saying its over and stuff...that is completely retarded. ALSO don't mistake this for me saying he's not in the wrong...its NOT all about him and he needs to get his head out of his ass.