Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?

MIMI1231 · October 2010

I am so sorry to hear this, sweetie! I agree with the majority of posts, if he's not willing to work on your relationship and do what you need to make things ok, then I would lose the loser. I don't mean to sound harsh because I know you obviously love him and care for him but he needs to show you the same respect you show him in the relationship and be loving, supportive, sensitive to your needs, and trustworthy and it doesn't sound like he's living up to his end of the bargain. He was cheating on you whether physical or not and the fact that he tried to make it seem like your fault and now wont do what it takes for you to be able to deal with this, just really pisses me off. If he's not willing to put in the work and effort to win back your trust and strengthen your relationship, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that and would be better off without him.

I hope you'll do what's best for you, whatever that may be. Just remember that you deserve to be loved, cherished, and respected. Don't settle for anything less.

DrinknDerive · October 2010

MIMI1231:
I am so sorry to hear this, sweetie! I agree with the majority of posts, if he's not willing to work on your relationship and do what you need to make things ok, then I would lose the loser. I don't mean to sound harsh because I know you obviously love him and care for him but he needs to show you the same respect you show him in the relationship and be loving, supportive, sensitive to your needs, and trustworthy and it doesn't sound like he's living up to his end of the bargain. He was cheating on you whether physical or not and the fact that he tried to make it seem like your fault and now wont do what it takes for you to be able to deal with this, just really pisses me off. If he's not willing to put in the work and effort to win back your trust and strengthen your relationship, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that and would be better off without him.

I hope you'll do what's best for you, whatever that may be. Just remember that you deserve to be loved, cherished, and respected. Don't settle for anything less.

Brilliantly unique advice. This definitely wasn't said 300 times before.

Jebus Christ.

Note: Post count +1

JayMeBaby10 · October 2010

The EXACT same thing happened to me. WORD FOR WORD! I "forgave" him because I couldnt stand the fact of my NEWBORN daughter growing up without a dad... You WILL never forget. It is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. I still cry sometimes about it and think about it at least once a day. Be strong, we both deserve better, it's really hard I know.

OosumSauce · October 2010

JayMeBaby10:
The EXACT same thing happened to me. WORD FOR WORD! I "forgave" him because I couldnt stand the fact of my NEWBORN daughter growing up without a dad... You WILL never forget. It is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. I still cry sometimes about it and think about it at least once a day. Be strong, we both deserve better, it's really hard I know.

Well you can't get better until you first DTMFA

lnrees24 · October 2010

As a newbie myself, I'm still not sure why everyone keeps commenting on this thread. SERIOUSLY!

menacohen · October 2010

Personally I agree with everyone else, it's time to move on. I could never forgive something like that or trust the person again. But this is something you really have to decide, is the relationship the 2 of you have worth saving? It's a difficult choice.

lrachelle80 · October 2010

menacohen:
Personally I agree with everyone else, it's time to move on. I could never forgive something like that or trust the person again. But this is something you really have to decide, is the relationship the 2 of you have worth saving? It's a difficult choice.

People are still fcking commenting on this???

blondiekara65401 · October 2010

It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

ReturnOfKuus · October 2010

This is the song that doesn't end...

SweetCuppinCakes · October 2010

blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

OH MY FUUCKING GOD SHUT UPPPPP WHY IS THIS STILL HERE!

Not only is it now 3 months after the original post, but its a WEEK after the damn email was sent out linking to this GODFORSAKEN PIECE OF SHIIT!

Jocelyn0415 · October 2010

blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

Isn't it exhausting checking up on your husband all the time? Why not go for a guy who would never do that to you?

I don't understand these women who take cheaters back. Ugh.

jane6672 · October 2010

blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

You are stupid on more levels than I even know how count.

RaiKai · October 2010

jane6672:
blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.
You are stupid on more levels than I even know how count.

Yes, this. Even if I added my own counting skills, I am not sure we would get there.

Four different girls and he took the sexting to "actions" - AND you took him BACK? You are a moron.

How fulfilling it must be to be with someone who respected you so much so as to cheat on you with several other women and you can't trust out of your sight.

vmk4970 · October 2010

wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

DrinknDerive · October 2010

vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

God, that's such a healthy way to deal with cheating. Moron. Worst.advice.ever.

Jocelyn0415 · October 2010

vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

Sweet Jesus, there a lot of idiots running around in this world.

jane6672 · October 2010

vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

Well now, that is so sweet and Christian of you.

JuliaLucretia · October 2010

I just found out the same thing about my babies father, but we arnt married. To my knowledge he has also stopped sexting, but he has never met her before. He says he wants to be a family and that he loves me. I can't believe him when I saw what he was saying to her. That he likes her, wants to cuddle with her, and he was going to take off work to spend time with her when she comes to town in November. He told me he only wanted sex from her. I feel like it was a long distance relationship. He said she contacted him off an add through craigslist (not a personal add) and that it has only been going on for a few monthes. (even when I was in the hospital) I don't trust him either we have had difficulties in the past that I have never gotten over but with having the baby I was apposed to making it work, but he was really trying to show me he wanted a family. Now with all of these hormones I dont know what to do. I want to get over the past and have my family, but I know that I am not happy with him and I can't get over the past and will never believe or trust what he says again. Truly you will have to listen to your feelings and look to see how you will feel in the future. If you are still proud to be his wife and you make eachother happy.

MelindaMG · October 2010

I hate everyone in this post.

OosumSauce · October 2010

blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

I know this has been said but I can't help myself

YOU ARE A FUUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RaiKai · October 2010

Jocelyn0415:
vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!
Sweet Jesus, there a lot of idiots running around in this world.

What a shocker, she's 21. Meaning she got married at 18.

I love how many posters pass of cheating as a "mistake". It is not a "mistake" to start a relationship with someone else! If something is "missing in your marriage" you reconnect with your partner and figure out how to address it...you do not start a flucking affair!

Lady Smith · October 2010

blondiekara65401:
It possible to forgive but it takes time to forget. In my case there were four different girls and I know he took the sexting to actions and I still took him back. He had alot of ex girlfriends to let go. We had to move and He is not allowed to have any girls in his phone and I check everything still. I haven't in a long because It's been over a year now since anything happened so I pray to God that it will never. It takes alot out of you, but it's something you both have to work through, if only one person does it it won't work. I wish you the best of luck.

Ohh good lord are you serious?

SweetCuppinCakes · October 2010

This thread gives me diarrhea.

OosumSauce · October 2010

vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

WOW this must be an awesome way to life your life. I give it a year at the most and you will be getting a divorce.

Interrobang · October 2010

RaiKai:
Jocelyn0415:
vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!
Sweet Jesus, there a lot of idiots running around in this world.
What a shocker, she's 21. Meaning she got married at 18.
I love how many posters pass of cheating as a "mistake". It is not a "mistake" to start a relationship with someone else! If something is "missing in your marriage" you reconnect with your partner and figure out how to address it...you do not start a flucking affair!

I've been ignoring this but what the hell, I'll up my post count.

A "mistake" is forgetting to buy milk or mail the cable bill. Starting an affair goes way beyond "oh, everyone makes mistakes!" Have any of you ladies ever mistakenly landed on someone's penis?

OosumSauce · October 2010

SweetCuppinCakes:
This thread gives me diarrhea.

I want to let this thing die but every time someone posts about how wonderfully they have handled their H sticking his peen in some random vag or talking to some random chick about putting his peen in her vag I want to biitch slap some sense into them and break down and post.

I know I should be punished but but it's not my fault they are idiots.

Lady Smith · October 2010

vmk4970:
wow. been there... I was in the exact situation 3 years ago with my husband. We had only been married months when I found out about his sexting. We are very active members of our church and when I found out, I decided right then and there to make him suffer and feel as hurt and embarresed as I had. I gave him the ultimatium that if he wanted me to stay that he would do everything I asked.. He would first go with me and tell our preacher what he had done , attend couples counseling, read his needs/her needs with me, i could check his phone when i pleased as much as i pleased, he was to call me when he left from work.. and he was to understand most of all that I may not trust him for years but that it was his fault for lying to and betraying me. It took about a year for me to forgive him and I still think about it. It STILL hurts... but I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. We all make mistakes when something is missing in our marriage especially when newly married. The best advice I can give you is read 'Fireproof' and if you can, get him to read it with you.. My husband whined about everything I asked of him but i would always say, just say the word and you wont have to do it anymore. Meaning, my butt would be gone. Prayer also gave me comfort. If it had not been for God, our marriage would not have worked because it took him teaching me to forgive. Good luck and hope this helps!

How is something missing in your marriage that is only a few months old? Oh wait, I get it what's missing is the respect and next time you might want to try marrying a man not a child.

OosumSauce · October 2010

MelindaMG:
I hate everyone in this post.

That's OK I'm thinking the feeling is mutual

SweetCuppinCakes · October 2010

OosumSauce:

SweetCuppinCakes:
This thread gives me diarrhea.

I want to let this thing die but every time someone posts about how wonderfully they have handled their H sticking his peen in some random vag or talking to some random chick about putting his peen in her vag I want to biitch slap some sense into them and break down and post.

I know I should be punished but but it's not my fault they are idiots.

Sigh no I know, I feel the same way I just can't coherently formulate words to tell them how stupid they are anymore. I just get so enraged at the stupidity that I froth at the mouth and pound my keyboard.

OosumSauce · October 2010

SweetCuppinCakes:
OosumSauce:

SweetCuppinCakes:
This thread gives me diarrhea.

I want to let this thing die but every time someone posts about how wonderfully they have handled their H sticking his peen in some random vag or talking to some random chick about putting his peen in her vag I want to biitch slap some sense into them and break down and post.

I know I should be punished but but it's not my fault they are idiots.

Sigh no I know, I feel the same way I just can't coherently formulate words to tell them how stupid they are anymore. I just get so enraged at the stupidity that I froth at the mouth and pound my keyboard.

I have basicly resorted to

YOU ARE A FUUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at least I'm telling the truth that is more then their Hs do.

Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?

Re: Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?

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