Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Money situation with Mom and FI
OK, but it's a desk type job (receptionist, call center, etc) even easier on the body than McDonald's or babysitting? I'm just thinking you need a full time gig, with a set schedule, especially with a baby on the way.
Sometimes sitting is easier, not always, though.
I could never work forty hours, that's why I had to go on disability in the first place. And, there aren't that many part time office jobs around here. Also, since my FI works during the day - once the baby comes, the cost of babysitter/daycare wouldn't be worth it.
McDonald's/babysitting I could schedule around his schedule. I have an interview with Papa Ginos on Monday!
Its really the combo of everything together than one thing but:
slipped discs and herniated discs
scoliosis - makes discs worse, discs make this worse, etc
sciatica, made worse by uneven hips/legs (also interacts with discs and scoliosis)
TMJD which interacts with the
chronic migraines
chronic whiplash (that can not just be treated by chiro, not fixable, been way too long/made worse by incompetent doctors)
arthritis in hands, back, neck, legs
chronic fatigue syndrome/non recuperative sleep disorder/insomnia
fibromyalgia (kind of a catch all dx)
and i feel like im forgetting stuff
And all this makes it impossible for you to go to school how?
And I can't see how you think ttaking care of multiple children is more possible with this. Are you only planning on babysitting for children when they are asleep?
Again, what is your plan to support yourself and child in the future? Because to this point it seems like the only plan you have is to take money from the govt and to sponge off your mom and FI.
oh my.
I'm sorry... one person with all of this going on. Just... no. I'm not buying it.
By any chance, are you a painkiller addict? This sounds like a laundry list a pill junkie would work throught when doctor shopping.
And yeah, if you legitimately had ALL of these issues... you would barely be able to move. Not only would babysitting be potentially one of the WORST jobs for these ailments, but I don't know how you'd expect to take care of your own child.
I wonder if we'll see a post in about 6 months talking about how the cat peed on her bed, but she couldn't physically get up.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I think most of us are familiar with babysitting. Ann M. Martin and all that. But I still don't see how if sometimes you need to sit and sometimes you need to stand, baby-sitting is the answer. Kids don't really care when you're able to change their diaper or make them something to eat, you know? It has to be done when it has to be done.
And how is it that you can work a job around your boyfriend's schedule but he can't work a second job around it? Even if babysitting is the concern, he could at least get a second job for the next few months until the baby is here to save up extra money. If you don't think you'll earn enough to cover the cost of a sitter, there are subsidized childcare programs you could look into.
You need to work toward a long-term solution that will provide a better life for your child. You should absolutely do everything you can to find something that will bring in money right now. No question. But have you even thought about your position months from now, let alone years from now? How are you going to finance a maternity leave for your recovery after the birth? What if you lose your job because you don't have any time off (even unpaid)?
You're in for a long hard road. Parenting is not easy in the best of circumstances, let alone when you're not even making enough to support yourselves without the extra mouths to feed. You would be wise to figure out a plan to better your circumstances for your child and it may not include a man who can't support the kid he already has and would rather blow money on things he doesn't need than making a future for his family.
Good luck. You're going to need it.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
I'm amazed that with all this going on you were able to grin and bear it long enough to procreate. Amazing!
There's a LOT of things in this post that make me go hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
OP, this makes NO sense whatsoever. None of it.
I can guarantee you that you could be the nicest person in the whole world, certified in all things childcare and there is NO WAY I would let you watch my child with your medical issues. There is too high of a probability that you'd be calling off work too often that it would cost me my job.
You most certainly can find a PT job that will allow you to sit. There have to be call centers in your area or something similar. Check your local paper, FFS.
And can you please answer our questions about why you've decided to get back together with someone because of a mere biological thing? Its not spiritual, its not "meant to be" or whatever else it is that you're telling yourself. Sperm met and fertilized egg. That does NOT mean you have to be in a relationship with someone whom you've already been broken up with and clearly aren't happy with and wondering "how much is too much?".
Also, can you tell us if his OCD is really psychiatrist dx'd OCD or your "he just likes things a certain way and its easier to 'define' it this way than call him on his shiit regarding our budget"?
How old are you? You sound like a teenager.
Your FI can do what ever he pleases when he moves out on his own and supports himself. Sorry if he is not happy with that situatio either.
You need to take some tmes to seriously think about your life and the life of this child. Things will not get better unless YOU MAKE THEM BETTER YOURSELF BY MAKING BETTER LIFE CHOICES. You might need some professional help with that and I recommend you talk with a social worker or counselor.
A man in your life is not a solution to your problems - it onloy adds to your problems right now.