Politics & Current Events
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Open Letter to Working Moms
Click me, click me!
I was really hoping the first letter was satire.
My dentist does not understand. He charges $75 bucks if I dont come. Driving your children around on old tires seems like a good "sacrifice"??
how is that bed situation even legal?
Her children sleep on costco shelving units?
::climbs on working mom high horse and rides away::
I have never told anyone they are lucky to stay at home. Nor has anyone ever told me I'm lucky to work.
Stupid, isn't it? Shouldn't we all be telling each other we're lucky to be doing what we want to do, no matter what that is?
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
BS.
I just crunched some numbers, and if H and I max out our retirement savings for 2 people (max 401k contribution + IRA) and max out 503b plans for 2 children ($12k max contribution a year) that's $68,000 a year, just for savings/investments. That's... the average family income in the US. (Obviously 401k is pre-tax, but even so.)
Not including mortgage, taxes, home insurance, utilities, cable and internet, health care costs, groceries, toiletries, cleaning products, pet costs (food, medicine, vet), cell phone, gym memberships, other family memberships for things like museums and the zoo, clothing allowances, school supplies, field trips, our own student loans, car maintenance, car repairs, car insurance, gas, and god forbid we send our children to a private school in grade school/high school.
So yeah, I should just cut cable and stop buying fancy new clothes (at the Gap).
You totally know my life, blogger. Or I could live in an unsafe, 25 year old trailer with my 2 children and drive them around in an unsafe, 15 year old vehicle because ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE. Thanks, but no thanks.
40/112
Yeah mine too. My dentist also charged me $1k for a root canal & that was with insurance, so unless I decide to sacrifice having teeth for the greater good I'll keep working.
"This ribbon has been reported." - lovesnina
I highlighted all the things you totally don't need. YWIA.
Looks like it. And no full walls in the bedroom. So 8 kids in that TINY nor-really-an-actual-room, with no real floor, and shelves for beds. I bet they are super stoked their mom stays home.
Look, really, f*ck this b!tch.
Updated September 2012.
Carpet & roofs are for materialistic sissies who let someone else raise their kids.
"This ribbon has been reported." - lovesnina
And yeah, I'm all for 1 parent to stay at home, but only if you don't have to live in a (literal in this case) rat hole to do it. That is not benefitting anyone.
My Chart My Nest Bio
Because those are totally the only two options. $68K in investments annually, gym, cell phones, family memberships to everything, pets, and private school, or 25 year old trailer with 2 kids and unsafe minivan. Right.
HAB is right, both sides get cray cray extreme on this.
She rips up old bibles and sells the pages?!?! WTMF?
Isn't it sacrilegious to use torn up bible pages as a bookmark?
Hmm. *adds carpet to Dev's list of things I don't need to spend money on*
And if I didn't have a car, I wouldn't need a carseat. Walla! Money saver. Except the hospital makes you leave with one, even if you leave in a bus or taxi. Walla! Home birth. Money saver!
Actually, my mom stayed home from when I was born until my brother went to kindergarten - so 8 years total. Then she went back to work. I can't say I cared, either way. Except when she was working I got to watch a lot less General Hospital.
40/112
Even if DH made more than what we both make together, I'd still work. When you look at what we could then gain in terms of financial security, saving for college, traveling to see family, etc., it far out ways anything we'd get by me staying home.
Part of me really still just wants to be home when DD gets off the bus in the afternoons, so that's my personal goal. But that's more of a scheduling thing, I guess, not really a SAHM vs. WM thing.
I know a handful of families around here where the only way they are in a house and able to afford kids is because the wife makes a substantial income. She didn't have to wait for her spouse's career to get to a certain point or for him to make a certain amount.
ETA: what really grates my ass about this debate is the multiple kids factor. You can SAH with 3 kids and while certain costs will go up, its not nearly the cost that 3 kids in daycare would be. Though I'm sure if I had to SAH with 3 kids everyday I'd become a rat in the wall myself.
I find it interesting that we rarely discuss how much it actually costs for some income brackets to have a two parent house.
Sure, I could work but I'd have to make a certain amount of money to pay for day care, afterschool care, extra gas, and the second vehicle. We could technically do this on one car but that's even more gas if you can find something that works with only having one car.
Click me, click me!
i'm kind of
ing at the $68K number. what's the point of it? is that what you're comfortable with before having kids? i'm not judging per se but i just don't see where that dollar figure fits in.
OMG, I hope that comment was satire, b/c otherwise, I might be sick. Rats and snakes? I would die.
An those shelving units as beds? WOW.
As to the actual topic, I think there's a wide range of ways to make your situation what you want it to be (working/SAH/whatever), but I don't want to listen to martyr BS about it (like this open letter of crap). I have family that b*tches and moans about money, their choices as a family, their options and on and on. And I want to be like - you made these stupid f*cking choices, you win stupid f*cking prizes. Don't tell me I'm lucky, b/c I'm not. We made choices based on our situation and what would work for us, and that's it. Of course, this is the same person who asks me where I got something for my kids and if I respond with a certain type of store (aka not walmart), her response is "Must be nice to be able to shop there." ::eyeroll::
I don't get why people can't be happy with their choices - it's like they need outsider validation of them. It's ridiculous. And yes, I know some people don't have choices - I'm not talking about them - I'm talking about this blogger who has chosen her life and then writes a holier than thou open letter. Shut up already. If she was happy with her life and choices, she wouldn't write this garbage.
Yeah, because that's exactly what I said.
Sorry if you're offended by the fact that I choose saving for college and retirement over being a SAHM.
Because that's exactly where my priorities lie. Clearly, that's not what the OP is thinking. Sure, I could stay home - but my husband would probably never retire. That's another choice I'm making - to not put the burden of our family's costs and retirement entirely on him. Some people are fine with that (and I guess the OP happens to be of the "men take care of women" variety). I happen to not be.
40/112
Really with this?
Click me, click me!
Dude, I honestly don't care what other folks do.
Unless you're living in a house with snakes and rats in your walls and not doing everything you can to not live with snakes and rats. Then I'm gonna start up ole judgy.
I swear this was not posted to start a SAHM vs. Work outside of the home Mom debate.
The only time I judgeyour choices is if your kids are stacked like freaking giant mayo jars on costco shelves or if your houses has freaking SNAKES in the walls.
omg this should really be a unity horse, people!