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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Re: I come bearing gifts from 3rd Tri Now with Masturbation!
Fixed it for you.
I think it ridiculous to suggest that Adam can always without error judge when his wife is in the mood. So, since, Adam is not a perfect man, then he sometimes must ask/initiate sex when she is NOT in the mood. Then she rolls over and gives it up for Jesus.
Fun.
AW, I have a serious question. Do you have sex when you're not actively trying to get pregnant? If so, does that make you feel guilty? I mean, you are clearly good at knowing your fertility, so are there times when you just gotta have it, even when you know you're not fertile? How is that different in your mind than masturbation (mutual or otherwise)?
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I feel like sex serves multiple purposes in a marriage. I'm not of the belief that any sex outside of procreation is sinful. I feel like the Bible is clear that God not only designed sex for procreation, but also for pleasure and for spiritual unification of a husband and wife - an expression of their love.
The difference for me between masturbation and sex outside of procreation is that masturbation serves only one purpose - the physical needs of the person doing it. It's a selfish act. Sex outside of procreation serves many purposes - not only the physical needs of both people involved, but also the emotional or spiritual needs of one or both people. It doesn't mean that sex always leads to emotional or spiritual satisfaction for both people (or anyone for that matter), just as sex doesn't always lead to physical satisfaction for both people, but it does mean that the possibility for that is there.
Maybe I'm different than the majority of women, but I rarely need to have sex for physical reasons. Certainly, I enjoy it when it happens, but it's not something that I often find myself craving or thinking about (maybe this is because I have been either pregnant or nursing for 5+ years now and that has killed my natural sex drive). What I do crave, however, is physical affection from my husband, because it makes me feel emotionally bonded with him. I feel like it's that part of sex - the emotional bonding - that is God-honoring. I could never achieve that without my husband being there.
You seem to include a lot of areas of your life into your "faith" when really its a personal philosophy. You can have guidelines or rules that work for you and it not be part of your religion. You can still "pray on" something and not include your answer in with what your "faith" is.
I think the hard part for a lot of us is we interpret the word "faith" as "christian" and since we are also christian and do not believe in that (and you don't seem to give a denomination that coincidences with your philosophies) then that leads us to feel like you are saying you are following *our* religion better than we are. I think if you would have been able to just say "I am ____ and I follow these rules/ideas to the letter" then we'd be much more at ease with your explanations. But you use general terms like "faith" that inadvertently include everyone who has a faith, at least a Christian one.
My faith guides everything I do. While I am a Christian, my faith is mine and mine alone and is no reflection of Christianity as a whole. I have my own unique relationship with Christ and the Holy Spirit guides me in my own ways.
It's strange to me that you interpret the word faith as Christian and assume that all Christians believe the same way. The word Christian is so broad. It includes Catholics, Protestants (and the million denominations represented under the umbrella), and depending on who you ask, even Mormons. Some Christians are fundamentalists and some are not. There is a wide spectrum of believers and I think it's sort of strange to assume that one Christian talking about their personal faith is trying to speak for all of these different groups of Christians.
Faith = your personal relationship with God
Religion = your denomination
If you were to substitute the word religion in where I say faith, I could see how you would assume I am speaking for everyone who belongs to the same denomination as me, but otherwise, it doesn't make sense.
As for personal philosophies vs. faith, I don't see the difference. My personal philosophies are guided by my faith (my relationship with Christ). Everything I do each day from the clothes I put on, the way I style my hair, the food I feed my children, our choice of entertainment, how diligently I decide to work, the way I interact with my husband, etc. is guided by my faith. I feel like God has revealed to me a way in which I am supposed to behave that honors Him. Every little decision I make attempts to be a reflection of that behavior (but I also fail many times). Even the thoughts I have are guided by my faith. You see, I cannot divorce myself from my faith, because it is just as much a part of me as my brain or my heart is. In fact, it often guides both of those organs.
I apologize if I have ever made you feel like I am saying I am a better Christian than you. I do not feel that at all. I actually do not believe in works-based salvation. I feel like God speaks to each of us individually and motivates us to worship in different ways based on our own spiritual gifts, needs, and flaws.
I feel like I have tried time and time again to show some of you here how my lifestyle choices are simply mine and I don't apply them to others. What works for my marriage may be different from what works for yours. What God is asking of my husband and I may be different from what he is asking from you and yours. It's probably an inability to express myself properly on my part that is confusing people and making them think I am such a legalist. I assure you I am not.
I am so disappointed that the awesomeness of the first page of this thread gave way to another "grill AW about her religion" fest.
Can we please get back to discussing the hilarity of the c&p?
Ditto.
AW is an awfully good sport about all of the crap she takes. What do we care who masturbates and who doesn't? That works in their marriage. Something else works in other people's.
This is exactly how I feel every time I read these threads. AW is always open and honest about how she lives her life and her marriage. It works for them. Why does everyone else care so much?
I agree. Man I'm over the whole picking apart everything AW says route. Good lord.
What is interesting to me about the OP is that she doesn't seem to understand how having children is going to affect her sex life. You think wanting to get it on while knocked up is tough? Oh, honey. Just wait. That's all I've even got to add. They are going to need a new system.
Hey I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was picking on someone.
But yeah, our youngest is 3 next month and our sex life is finally getting back to some regularity.
Seriously. I feel like I should be sending AW cookies or something for the crap she puts up with.
Agreed. This thread had such potential to be a unity horse on the "imposing restrictions but not providing any kind of outlet" front. The only statement of AW's I take umbrage with is "the man not needing self-gratification if his wife is willing". Many dudes have done this every day since they discovered they could as teens, so it is an ingrained habit for many, very different from sex (I'm told).
Click me, click me!
Yup. I actually find it greatly ironic that if someone did come on here and describe the exact same type of husband/wife dynamic as a sexual dom/sub thing, I'm guessing it wouldn't draw much grief. AW and her husband due it for non-sexual gratification, and bam.