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Re: Other side: "Why don't you just gain some weight?"
Hah, and then you have my mother, who, during my ELEVENTH round of chemo asked "How much weight have you lost, because it doesn't seem like much."
Funny thing is with steroids to prevent nausea, many cancer patients do not lose weight and gasp... some even gain. FOR SHAME!
Anyway, Bridey said it best.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Serious question: have people ever randomly yelled at you in the hall or taken you aside because they think you have a disease based on your weight alone? I mean people you know at school or work, not a random a-hole in the mall. If not, you have no idea wtf you are talking about.
I just get so tired of the constant criticism over weight. The other day one of my good friends who is morbidly obese made a comment about a smaller girl needing to eat a sandwich because someone would break her if they tried to eff her, and several other 'hate' comments. I finally said to her "Why is it ok to hate on her? You know you'd go ballistic if someone made a comment about your weight." She said well yeah, but she's skinny so it's different.
Either way, it's still being critical of someone for their weight. And no matter what size you are, it makes any woman self-doubt themselves. And that's fuuuucked up.
Fat shaming that I've experienced from people I love, not just random work people has been life altering. So, she does have a point on the cultural aspect of how fat people are treated vs. too-skinny people.
In attempts not to make this a competition, because I feel like both sides are awful. People don't wonder if you'll fit in chairs when you go out to eat, or fit on rides at the amusement parks. Culturally speaking, thinner is better. See runway/ad/print models, clothing stores, Miss America, American sitcoms, etc. if there are questions about that.
Zuma Zoom
Not personally, but I've met him. I don't think he'd remember me or anything. Mr. Mustafa is just a really chill guy who doesn't mind posing for crazy pictures.
Can I tell you how much I adore your Waymint comments. LMAO
I read all of what she was saying, but I was too busy focusing in on the guy in the picture. Who is that?!!!
First: Yes.
Second: I don't know that society hates fat people and adores skinny people? Okay.
However, I do agree with Ellie that people probably think commenting on a skinny person's weight is more acceptable than fat shaming. On a personal level.
40/112
You created an AE to poke fun at me for pointing out the existance of thin privilege? What an amazing use of your time.
40/112
Simple solution: go on Paxil.
I'm only half kidding. I was 5'3, 120 my entire life until I started Paxil. When I got pregnant with DD I was 154. No one ever made a weight comment to me my entire life. After having her, I never went back on Paxil and nursed for 15 months. When I got pregnant this time around, I was 128 (120 at my lowest before weaning). Completely normal for me.
I had coworkers often comment on how skinny I was, if I'd talked to a doctor about my weight loss, and my boss even told my manager I may be "really sick" b/c of how thin I was. So I can see the "other side" of the spectrum. I don't feel as it is nearly as humiliating though as it would be if people were making comments had I weighed "too much". I guess I brushed most of them aside as being jealous.
My eyeballs hurt from rolling them so hard at the thin priviledge ish. No one said being picked on because you're thin is worse than being fat. People are just sharing their experience. But instead of saying, dude, that does suck, there are some people in this thread who refuse to have any sympathy or understanding for a position they haven't experienced.
I'm trying to understand how this is all that much different than some of the stupid ass comments thrown down in the Fat Tuesday posts.
Click me, click me!
Haven't read everything yet. But I grew up really petite. I wasn't a big eater; food didnt interest me. People always asked me or my mom if there was something wrong? (there wasn't FTR). They always thought that I was younger than I actually was. It was soooooo *** depressing and I think it's the root of my body issues to this day. When I got pregnant I was at my highest weight ever at 117 (5"3). And now that I'm 4 months PP and BFing I'm 20 lbs. more than that, which is way too much. I feel like I'm seeing the other side of this problem. That said I wouldnt trade my issues for those issues that an obese person experiences b/c our society is much more cruel to the fat than the skinny. But that doesn't mean the feeling of being "abnormal" was less painful to my younger, smaller self.
Bear with me, because this isn't going to come out right: Do you think that maybe the difference is that there is no context really, where "fat can be beautiful" (Not that I believe that, but it seems to be the whole societal midset). Wheras, if you are "too" skinny, that's only a sometimes problem- like yes, the clothes don't fit, but you look awesome in a dress if you can find one.
Being fat comes with qualifiers- "You look good for a big girl," where when you are skinny, you hear "You look good."
Does this make sense?
Like, yes, we all suffer, but I would venture to say that you are more likely to be "too fat" all of the time, rather than "too skinny" all of the time.
I see what you're saying, but I think the point that is being missed (perhaps throughout the thread) is that "skinny" =/= model. Having tiny little boobs, being bean pole skinny, having no ass or body shape? These things are never considered attractive, either. It is true it's easier to add padding than hide extra, but it's not like being able to fake it makes you feel any better, body image-wise.
That's true.
And while I recognize what both sides are saying, sometimes it feels like we are all trying to fake it. And maybe its harder for a size 22 to "fake it" than a size 2, which is where part of the "you don't get it" is coming from.
Anyway, I agree that it all sucks, and I truly wish that we all could just love our bodies. Perhaps the take-away point is that life is tough all over, and we need to be more respectful of everyone, not just "fatties" or "skinnies."
Oh, to live in utopia.
I don't know. I think smo may be onto something about shape/curves in that other post. I mean for one thing she is objectively hot. Not hot for a big person, she has a great body.
When people are really thin without any curves or really big without a defined waist I think there is some perception that the body type isn't attractive, because "real women have curves" and all that.
I've gained about 15 lbs since college--almost all in my hips, butt and breast. Thank you birth control! I no longer get nasty comments about being too thin--though I am still quite little. In fact I get way more compliments--from men and women than I did when I was smaller. It's been ages since someone told me I'd never find a husband if I didn't eat more
I also feel a lot more confidence in my body now than I did when I wasn't "curvy" though by many standards I'm not actually "curvy" because I wear a size 4 but that's a whole 'nother topic.
Ditto Mystic.
We had family pictures this last weekend. I had planned to wear a skirt, until I saw pictures from my girls' weekend 2 weeks ago. My legs looked super skinny, pale, and gross. So not only did I have the scramble for something else appropriate (a nightmare in and of itself), but now I'm hoping I can put it in the back of my head and still be able to wear skirts and shorts when it's 110 for 2 to 3 months. I'm getting a little teary even thinking about it. And let's not even talk about swimsuits.
Can we skip straight to fall?
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
I do think that in our society there is a difference between the right type of skinny and the wrong type. As nitaw was stating earlier, and my exposure to it, in the black community, if you're skinny you're way more likely to get talked about. Jennifer Hudson also noted that when talking about her weight loss. Her at a size 16 was the norm in Chicago.
KA - I'm sorry you're struggling with summer clothes. I hate shorts for the opposite reason, haha. It still sucks to have to come up with alternatives. Even in dresses, my thighs rub so I have to wear shorts or spanx to keep them from chafing.
Zuma Zoom
I completely agree. When I graduated high school, I weighed 94lbs at 5'4". People made comments- usually not mean ones (probably because I was young)- but more like, "Oh, if we could trade bodies for a day" or telling me how lucky I was. After going on BC, I hit about 120lbs, which I think was pretty perfect for me, mostly because I gained about 10lbs of that in my breasts, which evened out a lot of the "too skinny" issues since I had curves.
Pre-pregnancy, I had hit 165lbs (thanks, SSRIs!). I held it well- I tend to grow in the breasts, followed by my thighs, so even though I was wearing a DD, I still wore a medium shirt and a size 6/8 pant. However, I *knew* that I was overweight. People didn't tend to say mean things, unless I hadn't seen them in awhile, but I *knew* people didn't look at me the way they used to.
It effing sucked. I don't want to be 94lbs again. My face is gaunt and my curves are gone. But if I got to chose between 165 and 94, you bet your ass I'd rather be "too small" again.
(Let's not even get to the fact that, now, at 34 weeks pregnant, I literally weigh 2x what I did when I graduated high school, pretty much exactly 10 years ago.)
I'm actually glad to live in the land of perpetual shorts weather b/c switching seasons always made me hate my body. In summer, I'd hate my chicken legs, but I'd get use to it. Then when I switched to pants, all I noticed was how saggy they were, and my prominent bow legs. By not switching, I barely notice it anymore, except when I see a picture.
But whoever said above that I wouldn't want to trade with someone who's 200 pounds, that's absolutely true. I don't win in a pissing match which is fine b/c it's not my point anyway.
When I first saw this picture I thought it was you and your husband and I thought " damn her husband's hot- no wonder people hit on him."
AHEM. I believe I've addressed this issue before.
As an skinny infertile, the comments about my weight and infertility really hurt a lot, and they're quite common. Even things that aren't directed at me, but just link skinniness to infertility, hurt. The other day when we were discussing the actress who plays Katniss in The Hunger Games, there was a line in the article that said that she has "hips that look functional rather than decorative." I think that when you're dealing with infertility, just about everything hurts. I do know people make the same comments to people who are obese.