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Female friend too close for comfort?

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Re: Female friend too close for comfort?

  • Chiming in - I had one of these. She eventually tried to ruin our wedding and then stalked me. I tried to be honest with her, voice my concerns, be a good friend. All of that got me nothing but heartache, because these people get gratification via this crap. She sounds like a female narcissist (look it up, it's fascinating). My advice is nix her and fast, and if BF doesn't like it, give him the ultimatum. If she rubs you the wrong way, she has to go.There's no room for three in a relationship, and this girl is doing these things to drive a wedge. GOod luck!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagecate1st:

    I really appreciate your helpful and encouraging words.  :|

     

    No, its not a healthy quality, and if you have time we can go over exactly why I'm co-dependent and not trusting and all sorts uncomfortable stuff about my life that has been way harder than most people's lives.  But that will probably make you feel like crap and make this a pity party and I'm really not about that.  I'm really just trying to recover and be semi normal.  How I tried to go about doing that was opening myself up to a female dominated forum and asked advice and thoughts about something I am going through in my life, looking for some understanding and guidance. I was met with some real snotty doozies and some other more warm and welcoming responses.

     

    Guess where your responses fell.

    My only comment is that marriage is exclusive. Dating is not .  You are playing house with someone who is not your spouse. There is no commitment here.

     

    Ok I do have a second commet.  I don't feel men and women can be super close best tfriends.  It is asking for trouble.  Affair proof your marriage.  It doesn't look good and is not good for married men and women to be alone with opposite sex people who are rot their spouses.   Groups are fine,otherwise itis a no.  

    Works forus.

     

    Persoanlly the first thing you said, he left you for 3 hrs in a club shows his character.  Break out of this.

    Good luck 

     

    Ps sorry for typos.  On iPad nursing sleepy baby 

    My little girl is growing up! (born 12/09) Little brother is here! (born 5/2012) Thank you Lord for my precious family!
  • I understand your situation completely. I have the same thing happening in my relationship. However the female friend in my scenario has been a bit more pushy. For example, I've been with my fianc? for 2 years now but about six months into our relationship we hit a rough patch and broke up for a bit. At the same time, she left her then husband and pursued my BF. when he got back with me she continued to text and pursue him and at one point told him not to get back with me because it was a waste of time. She backed off a little, and started dating his best friend instead(who conviently looks A LOT like my fianc?) however she continued her pushy ness with my BF. To the effect that one night while we were all out, she was very drunk and cornered him and decided to confess her love explaining that they had "history" meaning a kiss they shared once. She also continually insists that he is one of her best friends. We got engaged a few months ago and she still asks him to go out at least once or twice a week without a mention of myself. Like I said, I know your frustrations.

    that being said, I have remained in constant communication about my feelings with my fianc?. He knows how much it bothers me when she does and says the thing she does. To this he has also responded, "don't worry" "I only love you, she's not a threat to that" but he knows it weighs on my mind. And since her behavior hasn't changed even after we got engaged, he has taken steps to eliminate her from our lives completely. We both realized that she was nothing but a source of drama in our lives and we don't need it.

    My advice to you is just to explain to your BF your true feelings. I'm sure you have already but sometimes I thi k they don't fully get how much it effects us. Communication is the key. I also explained that I know he can't control her behavior. The problem and frustration is not in him. It's in the fact that she should have more respect for your relationship and set boundaries for herself.

    and people can say you are being jealous and immature and should let it be and blah blah blah. Well, to that I will tell you what I told my fianc?. You obviously care a lot about your BF and your relationship. Too much to let something like that break it up and ruin it. It's not about being jealous, it's about protecting a Love that you share and unnecessary drama, whether it's caused by yourself or someone else, is a danger to that.  

  • Hello,

     

    Young is not the issue here either way.

     

    From a mental health stand point, this female friend has anti social behavior..."NO BOUNDARIES."

  • 1. How old are you? 

    2. You really have some things you need to work through on your own and get healthy mentally before you should even think about being in a serious relationship.

    3. You're in a relationship, not a marriage. You can't tell him what to do, and if he doesn't want to listen to your concerns, you need to leave. Period. 

    EDD 12/5/12 Born 11/21/12 My LB is better than your LB.BrittanyDoesDerby 4 LYFE! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • you are just acting stupid
  • While i do think men and women can be friends, it depends on the realtionship they have as friends.  If the  female friend is an ex , this is too close for comfort. If they have always been friends, she may feel threatened that you are closer to him than other girlfriends have been. 

    Setting limits with this friend is something your boyfriend needs to help you with.

    I encountered a similar situation with my now husband. His group of what they called "the single musketeers" of men and women were very friendly and welcoming wheni first met them. They traveled together, etc. and we're very friendly until we got serious. One of the female friends suddenly became very clingy towards him and would frequently comment "lovers leave, but friends are always there." .... I later found out from my husband that their other friends had encouraged them to date and he once considered it but he did not think they would be compatible. The women in the group were still single as the the men began to pair off. Maybe this is what bothered her. 

    What finally resolved it one way or another is that this friend  became angry because I I had not chosen her a bridesmaid at our wedding. I told her I would have only one, my now sister in law. My man backed me up on this. She did not come to the wedding and  we have lost touch. The other women of the group did and we still see them with the other friends.

     i always trusted my husband. They could have dated but he only wanted friendship from her.

    I know this is over a year later but I hope all,is well for you. If you still feel uncomfortable, trust your feelings , and know that as a long terms relationship progresses into marriage , some single friends will fade away as your lives are different. Hopefully, this friend of his will find some self confidence in herself and her friendships. Many other great posts, but I'm with you on this.

     

     

     

     

  • i have a bf for 11 years. we were living in one roof together until January he left me for another girl which he met in his work. he told me that he doesn't love me anymore, he's not happy with our relationship, he don't want to us to live in a miserable life together.before i knew he already rented a new place him and the girl, my world fell apart, i beg and plead after him, says sorry and promise to change if i did something wrong to him but nothing worked. i was so desperate to get him back. so i came across this spell caster dr.marnish@yahoo. com to help me solve my problem, i told him everything and he solved my problem and my lover came back by Alisia Solorzano (Fort Walton Florida USA)
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