FRIDAY CONFESSIONS

RevJen

Jen748 said:

Skeezon said:

I actually feel this way about all animals, in general.

Yeah, I definitely give the side-eye to people who don't like animals. And, since there has been a lot of discussion about judging this morning, I totally judge people who were animal lovers before having kids and then can't stand them after having a baby. My SIL is so guilty of this. Drives me nuts.

You can judge me then. I'm not a pet person at all. AT ALL. And, as a mom, I can see how you could not like pets after a kid. Cleaning up after kids is a lot of work. Enough that there isn't always a lot of you left over to care for something else. IMO

I think that's a different thing altogether.  It's not like you had a pet and then got rid of it after you had a kid.

RevJen

Jen748 said:

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

As a mother of both furry and non-furry kids, I can say that I still consider my dogs my first babies. It's a different kind of love, but it hasn't changed or lessened since I had Adelaide.

And I have to disagree with not having a forever responsibility for your pet. 

What I'm saying is that it isn't the same responsibility as raising a child. Raising a child is much more long term and heavier. As I said, do you have a pet in your will? Godparents? Life insurance so if you die they're cared for?

My cat and dog have a grandma.  )

Jen748

Lauren620 said:

Jen748 said:

Lauren620 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side.

And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I never equated caring for an animal to raising a human.  I'm just saying that to belittle someone for considering their pet as their child or saying "You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for." because they don't have kids and just don't get it is hurtful.  

I apologize for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. But, it's hurtful to me for people to bash life after kids when they have no clue what that's like, which is why I responded so strongly to the PP.

Funny how no one is pointing out that she was being presumptuous, just me.

84Lauren

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

Whoa, Jennie.  Time to take a deep breath and step back.  You may not have meant what you said to be hurtful, but getting defensive about it is not the right move here.

pinkybooklover09

Jen748 said:

There's nothing whatsoever entertaining or lively about this discussion. I think we can amuse ourselves without turning into a bunch harpy biatches right? We're not The Bump FFS.

Surely there's got to be a middle ground between "what I had for breakfast" posts and overmoralization of other people's life choices.

I didn't realize we had specific guidelines for confessions. I also didn't realize that voicing an opposing opinion = arguing. #sorrynotsorry

Opinions are like assholes and in this discussion I feel like everyone is acting like one too.

RevJen

Jen748 said:

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I never equated caring for an animal to raising a human.  I'm just saying that to belittle someone for considering their pet as their child or saying "You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for." because they don't have kids and just don't get it is hurtful.  

I apologize for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. But, it's hurtful to me for people to bash life after kids when they have no clue what that's like, which is why I responded so strongly to the PP. Funny how no one is pointing out that she was being presumptuous, just me.

I don't think anyone is being presumptuous.  What you're BOTH doing is bringing your own perspective to an argument that has no solution.  Jennie, you have your own opinion.  Lauren, you have YOUR own opinion because your experiences to date shape them.

It's not bad.  It's not good.  It just IS.

AshleyT121

RevJen said:

My cat and dog have a grandma.  )

lol - as do my dogs    ">

Hoycie

Jen748 said:

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I never equated caring for an animal to raising a human.  I'm just saying that to belittle someone for considering their pet as their child or saying "You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for." because they don't have kids and just don't get it is hurtful.  

I apologize for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. But, it's hurtful to me for people to bash life after kids when they have no clue what that's like, which is why I responded so strongly to the PP. Funny how no one is pointing out that she was being presumptuous, just me.

If you're referring to me, I never said that I knew how it was like having life after kids or any of that.  I simply said that I could never give up my dog and that I wished if there are families who can't "handle" their dogs, find them a good home rather than a shelter.

I never intended to speak for anyone but myself.

84Lauren

Jen748 said:

I apologize for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. But, it's hurtful to me for people to bash life after kids when they have no clue what that's like, which is why I responded so strongly to the PP. Funny how no one is pointing out that she was being presumptuous, just me.

Wait, where did this happen?  Who is "she?" I'm legit looking for something I must have missed...

jackiback

Here's my input: I should be able to kennel my kids. And when they are annoying me, put them out in the garage. That's the only difference I care about. Kid Kennel. Someone do this. I'll PM you my address for my royalty checks. 

RevJen

jackiback said:

Here's my input: I should be able to kennel my kids. And when they are annoying me, put them out in the garage. That's the only difference I care about. Kid Kennel. Someone do this. I'll PM you my address for my royalty checks. 

I keep telling my friend that's what closets and duct tape are for.  lol ... she was less than amused when I said it the first time but she gets that I'm only joking about it.  Kind of.

SacGeoLover

AshleyT121 said:

RevJen said:

My cat and dog have a grandma.  )

lol - as do my dogs    ">

My cat is regularly referred to as the "grandcat"

booneybear

1.  I have a provision in my will with respect to my pets.

2.  My niece does not have godparents.

3.  I somehow manage to take care of someone else's children and 4 cats and a dog.

4.  My cats and my dog and my stepkids have woken my up in the middle of the night just as many times as a bio-child could have

pinkybooklover09

jackiback said:

Here's my input: I should be able to kennel my kids. And when they are annoying me, put them out in the garage. That's the only difference I care about. Kid Kennel. Someone do this. I'll PM you my address for my royalty checks. 

Just wait a few years. The princess is so disinterested in me that I have to beg her to pay attention to me at this point. It's actually kind of awesome compared to the years where I was getting no sleep and had no hair because I was pulling it out (and you know, because of cancer or junewhatevs) #shamelessmentionofpreviousillnesstogetpeopletocalmdown #cancer

RevJen

RevJen said:

My cat and dog have a grandma.  )

lol - as do my dogs    ">

My cat is regularly referred to as the "grandcat"

Now that my stepsister is breeding again, there have been fewer references to the granddog.

Shepherdjel

It really annoys me (probably more than it should) when people staple money! I don't understand this! Use a paperclip and if you don't have one then use nothing. It is a PITA to try and unstaple $ bills without ripping the crap out of them (even if I use a staple remover)!

jackiback

pinkybooklover09 said:

jackiback said:

Here's my input: I should be able to kennel my kids. And when they are annoying me, put them out in the garage. That's the only difference I care about. Kid Kennel. Someone do this. I'll PM you my address for my royalty checks. 

Just wait a few years. The princess is so disinterested in me that I have to beg her to pay attention to me at this point. It's actually kind of awesome compared to the years where I was getting no sleep and had no hair because I was pulling it out (and you know, because of cancer or junewhatevs) #shamelessmentionofpreviousillnesstogetpeopletocalmdown #cancer

I'm excited for this time.... but also oh so scared. Right now parenting is so, so physical (and I know that this is the place that Jennie is coming from. It is nonstop physical work), but when they are older you are SHAPING A PERSON. I only hope that I do this as gracefully as you. 

And you're doing the little brother thing again. It is endearing. 

Lauren620

Hoycie said:

Jen748 said:

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I never equated caring for an animal to raising a human.  I'm just saying that to belittle someone for considering their pet as their child or saying "You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for." because they don't have kids and just don't get it is hurtful.  

I apologize for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. But, it's hurtful to me for people to bash life after kids when they have no clue what that's like, which is why I responded so strongly to the PP. Funny how no one is pointing out that she was being presumptuous, just me.

If you're referring to me, I never said that I knew how it was like having life after kids or any of that.  I simply said that I could never give up my dog and that I wished if there are families who can't "handle" their dogs, find them a good home rather than a shelter.

I never intended to speak for anyone but myself.

No, the only thing that was said was about someone's SIL loving animals before she had kids and not being able to stand them afterwards.  If she's anything like my SIL, she just tossed her dog aside as soon as she found out she was pregnant.  But what could I possibly know about that, seeing as I don't have kids?

sassypants527

Our cats are in our will.  We want to make sure that if anything happened to us they wouldn't be dumped at a shelter and/or separated.

Side note: did anyone see this HuffPost yesterday? 

lizabethann6

... Backs away from post slowly ...

I've forgotten what my confession was about.

SusieBW

My dog is a psychopath.  For real, he's a fox terrier with really severe anxiety.  Like one isn't high-maintenance enough, he's both.  We had him before I was even pregnant with DD.  He's a handful to look after on a good day.  But we made a commitment when we got him (for free from a co-worker who shows FTs, because he couldn't be shown for physical reasons), and no amount of crazy would make us even consider giving him up.  I get really, really frustrated some days, wrangling both him and DD, and making sure they are both safe from each other.  She sometimes does things that set off his anxiety, and he sometimes forgets himself and acts mean.  It was a long time before I even trusted them in the same room as one another, and I still sometimes have to separate them.  It's a constant struggle, but we make it work.  Honestly, it's SO MUCH EASIER to get someone to babysit DD than it is to get anyone to babysit poor Murphy.  In a lot of ways, actually, my kid is a lot easier to raise than my dog has ever been.

I'm not judging or anything, I'm just throwing my $.02 into the conversation.

Nova726

SacGeoLover said:

RevJen said:

My cat and dog have a grandma.  )

lol - as do my dogs    ">

My cat is regularly referred to as the "grandcat"

So does my dog. My FIL comes by once a week (plus we see them on the weekend) just to see my dog, they even have pictures of her around their house.

EliStar

I have a dog and I have a baby. My love for my dog has changed in some ways since my son was born but I still love my dog dearly and would be devastated if anything happened to him. 

I don't equate animals to people. Loving and caring for a pet is different from loving and caring for a child (not better or worse - just different). But loving a child is loving a child. Whether it grew in your belly, whether you adopted the child, whether you became a parent to the child through marriage. No one here is getting an award for loving their kid or furbaby the most, or for having the hardest time parenting. Who cares? 

Young_Love

Well, I'm a special snowflake because I actually gave birth to my dog, so...

packfan20

dmlk413 said:

DH's step brother is getting married tomorrow and the rehearsal dinner is tonight. It doesn't start until 7 which is when we start putting Julia to bed. We aren't going to go because we don't want her to have a complete meltdown and I don't feel the least bit of guilt about it. MIL is being a total witch about it only because she wants to see the baby but if we do go, she'll make rude comments about my fussy baby and how SIL's baby is soo good. I'm so tired of the judgement.

Hugs!

sassypants527

Young_Love said:

Well, I'm a special snowflake because I actually gave birth to my dog, so...

Lauren620

Young_Love said:

Well, I'm a special snowflake because I actually gave birth to my dog, so...

I always thought Gunner had your eyes.

MrsJenE

Well, I said to make it a good one...I guess.

Here's my two cents:

I don't have pets or kids.

sassypants527

I just bruised my butt on a cat toy.  It hurts like a mofo.  Stupid plastic ball with ribbons!

Jenandtonica

Here's my old-lady confession. There are too many gifs and blinkies. My eyes are overstimulated. I appreciate a well-placed gif, but ... meh. Get off my lawn!