FRIDAY CONFESSIONS

CeeCeeSugaPie

Jen748 said:

Skeezon said:

I actually feel this way about all animals, in general.

Yeah, I definitely give the side-eye to people who don't like animals. And, since there has been a lot of discussion about judging this morning, I totally judge people who were animal lovers before having kids and then can't stand them after having a baby. My SIL is so guilty of this. Drives me nuts.

You can judge me then. I'm not a pet person at all. AT ALL. And, as a mom, I can see how you could not like pets after a kid. Cleaning up after kids is a lot of work. Enough that there isn't always a lot of you left over to care for something else. IMO

I understand that it isn't for everyone, but it's the people who don't take care of their pets properly after having children that really bug me.

After having DS, my dog definitely did not get as much attention at first, but we were pretty much back to normal until our dog recently passed. DS enjoyed "helping" me feed the dog and take him for walks. He still asks about him almost daily.

Hoycie

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

jackiback

I don't want to care for a dog or cat right now, but know myself enough to just not get one. If I had had one before I had the boys, there is no way that I would get rid of it. I think getting a pet is a lifetime commitment and treat it as such. Which is why we don't have pets. 

The boys are going to have to be old enough to care for it, raise money to buy it and beg pretty dang hard before we ever bring a dog or cat (oh how I hope that it's a dog) into our house. 

Jen748

Hoycie said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby.

And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

pinkybooklover09

booneybear

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

So I guess step-kids and adoptive kids could fit in there as well seeing they didn't grow in your belly?  

LadyMacaron

I am currently "job hunting", which is code for Pinterest posting, online window shopping, and Facebook stalking. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be getting a job today.

jackiback

Woah. I thought that we'd be having some popcorn today, but not over the confessions post  X_X

booneybear

and how do you not have a forever responsibility to a pet????

Shepherdjel

jackiback said:

Woah. I thought that we'd be having some popcorn today, but not over the confessions post  X_X

HAHAHAHA agreed!

Hoycie

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

I didn't write what I wrote in response to you. I wrote it in general.  I, personally, do not agree with people who just give up on their pets after having a child. Every day there is a story about a family who drops their pet off at a shelter just because they "can't deal" with it anymore.  I find that to be bullshit.  If you really can't "handle" having your dog after your child is born at least try and find it a good home with people who CAN give it the attention and love it deserves.

I'm not a parent but my pet is my child.  She is my responsibility until her last breath.

Jen748

booneybear said:

Jen748 said:

Hoycie said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby.

And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

So I guess step-kids and adoptive kids could fit in there as well seeing they didn't grow in your belly?  

Of course not Booney. I was using that as an example to show that PEOPLE are more important than PETS.

Everyone keeps wanting a good/real confession, there it is.

queenofhearts1728

booneybear said:

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

So I guess step-kids and adoptive kids could fit in there as well seeing they didn't grow in your belly?  

^^This.

Parenting isn't for everyone. Obviously caring for a pet and caring for a child are different, but I wouldn't go so far to say that an animal is somehow less important in any way. Just because you (general) got KTFU doesn't mean you (general) are somehow superior and your caregiving skills are somehow heightened. 

You still clean up shit and vomit. You still feed an animal. You still love them. They still cost shit tons of money. 

The only different, IMO, is that one can learn to walk/talk/and eventually move the F out.

Jen748

booneybear said:

and how do you not have a forever responsibility to a pet????

You do, until the pet dies, but if you die are your pets in a will? Do you have life insurance to make sure their costs are funding for their life?

You have to do that will kids.

booneybear

I am done.  

Jen748

booneybear said:

I am done.  

Why?

pinkybooklover09

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS DOES IT REALLY FUCKING MATTER? This seems like the most ridiculous circular argument ever. 

Hoycie

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

I can totally understand that after running around after your kids that having a dog could be exhausting. To me, that wouldn't be enough reason to give my dog away. 

Jen748

pinkybooklover09 said:

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS DOES IT REALLY FUCKING MATTER? This seems like the most ridiculous circular argument ever. 

Does it matter more than anything else we've argued about on here? Eh.

Plus, everyone keeps saying our confessions are boring. I'm just making it more lively.

pinkybooklover09

There's nothing whatsoever entertaining or lively about this discussion. I think we can amuse ourselves without turning into a bunch harpy biatches right? We're not The Bump FFS.

Surely there's got to be a middle ground between "what I had for breakfast" posts and overmoralization of other people's life choices.

nocturnalintimacy

:-/

Lauren620

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

Jen748

pinkybooklover09 said:

There's nothing whatsoever entertaining or lively about this discussion. I think we can amuse ourselves without turning into a bunch harpy biatches right? We're not The Bump FFS.

Surely there's got to be a middle ground between "what I had for breakfast" posts and overmoralization of other people's life choices.

I didn't realize we had specific guidelines for confessions. I also didn't realize that voicing an opposing opinion = arguing.

#sorrynotsorry

84Lauren

I agree with @pinkybooklover09 that this is a silly argument, because it's a personal thing.

I personally love my kids way more than my dog and think parenting my kids is a gajillion times harder than parenting my dog was pre-kids.

But that's my personal experience with it. I would never presume that I have any idea how someone else feels about their pet. Or their kids. Or whatever.

AshleyT121

Jen748 said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby. And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

As a mother of both furry and non-furry kids, I can say that I still consider my dogs my first babies. It's a different kind of love, but it hasn't changed or lessened since I had Adelaide.

And I have to disagree with not having a forever responsibility for your pet. 

queenofhearts1728

Lauren620 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

Amen.

Jen748

Lauren620 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side.

And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

queenofhearts1728

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I think a fair argument would be that, no matter what your situation, YOU chose that situation. I don't think it's fair to tell someone else that their life is any less difficult because they don't have a child. 

Lauren620

Jen748 said:

I don't normally get upset in confessions posts, but this one is getting pretty close to doing that.  I am fully aware that my dog is not a person.  I think some people should also be fully aware that having a baby doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others and until I am able to create something and have it grow in my tummy, I don't wish to be told that my dog isn't as important as the child I have not yet been able to get pregnant with.  Which I'm sure never crosses some people's minds because they have never had to deal with it, but junewhatevs.

I NEVER insinuated that I don't know about infertility and that side. And, on the flip side, as a parent who hasn't slept for more than 5 hours in over 15 months, I don't want to hear people equating caring for an animal to raising a human being.

I never equated caring for an animal to raising a human.  I'm just saying that to belittle someone for considering their pet as their child or saying "You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for." because they don't have kids and just don't get it is hurtful.  

Jen748

AshleyT121 said:

Jen748 said:

Hoycie said:

Nothing in this world could ever make me give up on my dog.  My dog is my first child and I will love her and take care of her until her last breath. I made a commitment to her when I rescued her and I intend on keeping it.

I wasn't suggesting you would break your commitment to your pet. Just that the level of exhaustion that can come from parenting, especially the first year, I could see why people wouldn't be as YAY DOGGIE after a baby.

And, since this is confessions, I think equating a pet to a child vastly under estimates the power and scope parenthood. You can love your pet, but it isn't a person, not a baby you grew in your tummy and brought into the world and have a forever responsibility for.

As a mother of both furry and non-furry kids, I can say that I still consider my dogs my first babies. It's a different kind of love, but it hasn't changed or lessened since I had Adelaide.

And I have to disagree with not having a forever responsibility for your pet. 

What I'm saying is that it isn't the same responsibility as raising a child. Raising a child is much more long term and heavier.

As I said, do you have a pet in your will? Godparents? Life insurance so if you die they're cared for?