Probably flammable, but I want to ask anyways

mysticporter

In a random note, is anyone offended by "Effing pink unicorn"?  I kind of like it.

LittleMoxie

Mare0527:

I don't see it as any different than someone being offended by someone swearing all the time.  Does someone need to explain to you why , wh*re, mothereffer etc are offensive to them?  It's offensive because it is offensive.  No swear words aren't offensive to everyone but they are to some.   

I'm actually not particularly offended by any of those.  However, every one of those words has a history behind it of being derogatory towards women, who have been treated as second class history since pretty much the beginning of recorded history in most societies.  That's why it's offensive.  Women (who exist) and minorities (often treated poorly).  Both exist and don't have a choice about it.

It's different than the majority (religious people) being upset by you using their particular god's (a choice which to believe in) name in vain.

If there was a religion that worshipped unicorns and someone on here was getting upset anyone said the word "unicorn" in vain, would you really be like, "oh,  you find that offensive, OK, guess I'll never say 'glitter farts out of a unicorn's ass' or put up gifs with unicorns again."

Look, back to the point.  I will not change my use of JFC, however often I used it (which I don't think was often), to any more or less because of this post.  I'm not trying to offend AW, but I'm not going to go out of my way to not offend her.  Of course she has every right to be offended and to tell us, but in this case, she's asking us to change our behavior because of her religious beliefs, and I think that's going too far without good reason.

MommaG123

bunnybean:

I didn't say martyr, Tef, did I?

I said persecution, which I know she said she didn't feel. She said she feels offended. I can't tell her how to feel. But she also can't tell us how to behave. That's kind of the end, really.

I cringe every time I see some of you post the name of my Savior in vain on here.  I find it incredibly offensive and it almost hurts a little to read it.  I know, I'm probably crossing into overly sensitive, get over it territory, but whatever.

I'm curious - do some of you realize how offensive it is to say when you say it or is it just out of habit that it comes out?  Does knowing that it is offensive make you think twice about using it in the future?

I'm curious where exactly there she is telling someone how they should behave?

Everyone is touting that this is a public message board so they can post whatever they want.... well she can start a thread over whatever she wants.  She made a statment and explained how she feels something and asked for other's input on what she said and instead everyone started attacking her for trying to "ban others' free speech" which I don't see her saying at all.  But whatevs.

the.truth.hurts

I did notice that Sarah Palin said "Jeez" on the Today Show earlier this week, and thought it was interesting.

That is all I can add to this thread that hasn't already been said much more eloquently!  

srs5624

2Vermont:

mysticporter:

Honest question, what makes swearing on a deity offensive to hear?  The sin is doing the swearing, so assuming you're not the one doing it, the issue of it being a Commandment doesn't come into play.  The only rational I can think of to wanting it to stop is to avoid someone else offending the Lord, which seems like a fairly arrogant position to take and not in keeping with the "judge not" position that's usually inherent in Christianity.

I thinnk it's because it's like someone swearing on your mother's name (or someone who you love very much, hold in high esteem).  Wouldn't you be offended by that?

My mom's name is Penny.

I'm certainly not going to get offended every time I'm standing in line at a store and someone is rooting for change saying "Goddamn pennies. They're a PITA. Why do I have so many pennies?!"

True story. My mom's name is Penny. I can't count how many times I've heard that exact "pennies are annoying" quote.

ringstrue

I'm guessing the term "JFC" is meant to be offensive when it's used. Everyone need to be offensive everyone in a while. Isn't that the point of cursing?

 

TefLepOM

bunnybean:

Dylanite:

TefLepOM:

bunnybean:

I'm on my phone but have so, so much to say. 

Is there a slur for Christians like there is for Jews, Muslims, black people, homosexuals, the mentally challenged, etc? I don't believe there is, which makes Jesus Effing Christ nowhere near the same. You don't like it. It offends you. That's fine. You're allowed to feel that way. But we aren't persecuting you by saying it. 

she said in her op she wasn't being a martyr.

I don't think she's being a martyr really.  But you have to admit that saying one isn't being a martyr doesn't make it so.  Just like the 'I'm not racist, but...' such phrases. 

I didn't say martyr, Tef, did I?

I said persecution, which I know she said she didn't feel. She said she feels offended. I can't tell her how to feel. But she also can't tell us how to behave. That's kind of the end, really.

I am pretty sure martyr and persecuted are synonyms, no?

mlwooten

Mare0527:

 

bunnybean:

I didn't say martyr, Tef, did I?

I said persecution, which I know she said she didn't feel. She said she feels offended. I can't tell her how to feel. But she also can't tell us how to behave. That's kind of the end, really.

 

I cringe every time I see some of you post the name of my Savior in vain on here.  I find it incredibly offensive and it almost hurts a little to read it.  I know, I'm probably crossing into overly sensitive, get over it territory, but whatever.

I'm curious - do some of you realize how offensive it is to say when you say it or is it just out of habit that it comes out?  Does knowing that it is offensive make you think twice about using it in the future?

I'm curious where exactly there she is telling someone how they should behave?

Everyone is touting that this is a public message board so they can post whatever they want.... well she can start a thread over whatever she wants.  She made a statment and explained how she feels something and asked for other's input on what she said and instead everyone started attacking her for trying to "ban others' free speech" which I don't see her saying at all.  But whatevs.

 

This is what I got from her o.p., as well.  

MommaG123

mysticporter:

Nobody's asked the board to stop cursing in general.  The issue isn't whether she has a right to be offended (anyone can be offended by whatever they want), the issue is whether it's a reasonable request here to ask people to change their behavior based on it.

Again, where exactly did she ask people to stop using it?   She has actually said over and over she didn't. She just brought up a discussion point and asked if people thought about whether or not they are being offensive when they say it. 

LucyHoneychrrch

+adamwife+:

NuggetBrain:

And I'd like to add that my dad is a Baptist minister of his own church, so none of what you're saying to me is new or groundbreaking, and I do understand why you find it offensive.  Honestly, I have the mouth of a sailor so as much as I say I'll try not to use it, I think you need to realize as well that this is a message board.  We don't know if you're going to be reading a thread or not.  Sure, we can not use it when you've already posted.  But you're not here, in front of us, and we have no idea if you're even going to come back to THAT thread.  So the only way to completely avoid any possibility of offending you is to never use JC, at all, ever, anywhere on the Nest, because there might be a chance possibly that you could maybe read that particular thread.  In my personal opinion, that's asking a lot for an entire community of Internet people and all lurkers and everyone that might possibly post on here to do.  So yes, I can and do respect you enough not to say something like that around you.  But honestly?  I'm not around you right now, or on your Facebook page or Twitter account.  I'm on the Internet.  On a public message board.

Also?  This isn't the Catholic board, or a Christian board, or whathaveyou.  So the number of people who would find this offensive are probably far, far less than the people who wouldn't.  And if I live my life never saying anything that might possibly be construed as offensive on some level to anybody around me or passing me by or reading a message board frequented by thousands of people across the world then I'd be a damn mute.

The number of gay people on this board or disabled people on this board is pretty low too, but out of respect there are still people who choose not to use words that would be offensive to them.

And maybe you've made the point for me.  Because you never know if by using the word you could be offending someone, maybe the best solution is just not to use the word at all. 

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

NuggetBrain

Mare0527:

 

bunnybean:

I didn't say martyr, Tef, did I?

I said persecution, which I know she said she didn't feel. She said she feels offended. I can't tell her how to feel. But she also can't tell us how to behave. That's kind of the end, really.

 

I cringe every time I see some of you post the name of my Savior in vain on here.  I find it incredibly offensive and it almost hurts a little to read it.  I know, I'm probably crossing into overly sensitive, get over it territory, but whatever.

I'm curious - do some of you realize how offensive it is to say when you say it or is it just out of habit that it comes out?  Does knowing that it is offensive make you think twice about using it in the future?

I'm curious where exactly there she is telling someone how they should behave?

Everyone is touting that this is a public message board so they can post whatever they want.... well she can start a thread over whatever she wants.  She made a statment and explained how she feels something and asked for other's input on what she said and instead everyone started attacking her for trying to "ban others' free speech" which I don't see her saying at all.  But whatevs.

So what, exactly, do you think the purpose of this thread was then?  Just to find out how many people found it offensive?  She could have asked that without the "it makes me cringe" and "it hurts my heart" and "it offends me".  She even said that she wanted people to respect her enough not to use it around her.  So yeah, in a passive-aggressive way she was trying to ask people to stop using it.  You don't need a damn microscope to read between those big-ass lines.

broccolitree

Speaking of the meaning of words, ironically I always took the other definition of vain. So this handswringing over how much it hurts you because you're so much more devvout than everyone else is, tome, taking te lord's name in vain. It goes hand in hand with the verses about praying quietly in the closet ratherthan loudly on the street corner. I have no idea what the actual words and their connotations are in the original text, though.

SparrowSong

mysticporter:

In a random note, is anyone offended by "Effing pink unicorn"?  I kind of like it.

I'm mulling trying out the phase Good F__ing Bacon next time I'm angry. See how many meat-eaters I can offend.  

LucyHoneychrrch

Mare0527:

 

bunnybean:

I didn't say martyr, Tef, did I?

I said persecution, which I know she said she didn't feel. She said she feels offended. I can't tell her how to feel. But she also can't tell us how to behave. That's kind of the end, really.

 

I cringe every time I see some of you post the name of my Savior in vain on here.  I find it incredibly offensive and it almost hurts a little to read it.  I know, I'm probably crossing into overly sensitive, get over it territory, but whatever.

I'm curious - do some of you realize how offensive it is to say when you say it or is it just out of habit that it comes out?  Does knowing that it is offensive make you think twice about using it in the future?

I'm curious where exactly there she is telling someone how they should behave?

Everyone is touting that this is a public message board so they can post whatever they want.... well she can start a thread over whatever she wants.  She made a statment and explained how she feels something and asked for other's input on what she said and instead everyone started attacking her for trying to "ban others' free speech" which I don't see her saying at all.  But whatevs.

Here.

The number of gay people on this board or disabled people on this board is pretty low too, but out of respect there are still people who choose not to use words that would be offensive to them.

And maybe you've made the point for me.  Because you never know if by using the word you could be offending someone, maybe the best solution is just not to use the word at all. 

Dylanite

TefLepOM:

Dylanite:

TefLepOM:

bunnybean:

I'm on my phone but have so, so much to say. 

Is there a slur for Christians like there is for Jews, Muslims, black people, homosexuals, the mentally challenged, etc? I don't believe there is, which makes Jesus Effing Christ nowhere near the same. You don't like it. It offends you. That's fine. You're allowed to feel that way. But we aren't persecuting you by saying it. 

she said in her op she wasn't being a martyr.

I don't think she's being a martyr really.  But you have to admit that saying one isn't being a martyr doesn't make it so.  Just like the 'I'm not racist, but...' such phrases. 

you are right.  Words have meaning...even offensive ones, and saying you don't mean to be an arse/offensive/are not racist means nothing.  Actions certainly speak louder than said words.  

Exactly.  Just like being passive aggressive doesn't absolve one of their assiness simply due to the fact the chosen words in the delivery are innocent themselves. We're all guilty, and subconsciously okay, with being offensive more often than some of us realize.  So preaching about it tends to go ignored by me.  Meh. 

TefLepOM

LucyHoneychrrch:

[

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

Really?   there are words I would never say.  It takes no time whatsoever.

BeebeeEater

mysticporter:

In a random note, is anyone offended by "Effing pink unicorn"?  I kind of like it.

I am deeply offended.

As a unicorn conservationist and lover of all things pink, I'd like to request that you refrain from using such a derogatory expression about the things I hold dear. 

Jermysgirl

I'm not even going to try. I've pretty much removed Jesus' middle name (F.ucking) out of my conversations with my MIL, beecause I love her, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. It's one of my favorite curses and it's too bad if it offends, but those it offends are most likely people with whom I have nothing in common anyway.

LucyHoneychrrch

TefLepOM:

LucyHoneychrrch:

[

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

Really?   there are words I would never say.  It takes no time whatsoever.

There are some words I would never say, either.  Because I know they're offensive to most people.  Or they're just inappropriate.  But using God and Jesus Christ is a serious gray area.  And frankly, if someone is going to be deeply upset at my committing the sin of blasphemy, then it's probably better they don't hang out with me, because blaspheming is probably the least egregious of my sins.

 

TefLepOM

Dylanite:

TefLepOM:

Dylanite:

TefLepOM:

bunnybean:

I'm on my phone but have so, so much to say. 

Is there a slur for Christians like there is for Jews, Muslims, black people, homosexuals, the mentally challenged, etc? I don't believe there is, which makes Jesus Effing Christ nowhere near the same. You don't like it. It offends you. That's fine. You're allowed to feel that way. But we aren't persecuting you by saying it. 

she said in her op she wasn't being a martyr.

I don't think she's being a martyr really.  But you have to admit that saying one isn't being a martyr doesn't make it so.  Just like the 'I'm not racist, but...' such phrases. 

you are right.  Words have meaning...even offensive ones, and saying you don't mean to be an arse/offensive/are not racist means nothing.  Actions certainly speak louder than said words.  

Exactly.  Just like being passive aggressive doesn't absolve one of their assiness simply due to the fact the chosen words in the delivery are innocent themselves. We're all guilty, and subconsciously okay, with being offensive more often than some of us realize.  So preaching about it tends to go ignored by me.  Meh. 

who is preaching this?  You know my stance on, say, the r word.  No secret and I gave up that discussion with you long ago.  I was agreeing with what you said as I figured those discussions were why you quoted me and stated "saying one isn't...." sealed that interpretation for me.  I just expanded/discussed what you sounded as if you were laying down.::shrugs::

NuggetBrain

TefLepOM:

LucyHoneychrrch:

[

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

Really?   there are words I would never say.  It takes no time whatsoever.

Yes, but what if some of the words that you DO say are offensive?  That's the issue.  Not continuing to do what you already do, but to start adjusting and changing to avoid possibly offending someone.  And the snowball effect, because when do you stop worrying about it?

SMorriso

mysticporter:

This is actually a little ironic.  When I started reading this thread, I was pretty firmly in the camp that it was such a small change to make, someone not using a phrase, that it would be petty to keep doing it (at least deliberately, although I don't think most people do it deliberately).  Although I still feel that way to some degree, until someone can explain why it's wrong or offensive to hear someone else blaspheme, I'm starting to be of the opinion that it's pushing a religious tenet onto someone else by asking them to modify their behavior based on one's own beliefs.  I'm vegetarian and dislike the thought of eating meat, but I'm not going to ask everyone on the board to stop talking about bacon.  The only thing that's different here is the religious component, which is what makes it hard not to see it is pushing beliefs rather than respecting beliefs.

This is where I'm at. I honestly feel like BDB had a great point as well as ToledoDuex (even though it was a bit rough to read because I found it personally insulting, yet the point was evident and I agree). People don't believe in what I believe. With that freedom, I do not feel personally attacked when someone uses JFC or JC in vain. To me, they'd have to hold some belief for that phrase to hold water. That's my opinion, but if someone thinks Jesus was as real as the Easter Bunny, it doesn't change my reverence for Him.

+adamwife+

LucyHoneychrrch:

+adamwife+:

NuggetBrain:

And I'd like to add that my dad is a Baptist minister of his own church, so none of what you're saying to me is new or groundbreaking, and I do understand why you find it offensive.  Honestly, I have the mouth of a sailor so as much as I say I'll try not to use it, I think you need to realize as well that this is a message board.  We don't know if you're going to be reading a thread or not.  Sure, we can not use it when you've already posted.  But you're not here, in front of us, and we have no idea if you're even going to come back to THAT thread.  So the only way to completely avoid any possibility of offending you is to never use JC, at all, ever, anywhere on the Nest, because there might be a chance possibly that you could maybe read that particular thread.  In my personal opinion, that's asking a lot for an entire community of Internet people and all lurkers and everyone that might possibly post on here to do.  So yes, I can and do respect you enough not to say something like that around you.  But honestly?  I'm not around you right now, or on your Facebook page or Twitter account.  I'm on the Internet.  On a public message board.

Also?  This isn't the Catholic board, or a Christian board, or whathaveyou.  So the number of people who would find this offensive are probably far, far less than the people who wouldn't.  And if I live my life never saying anything that might possibly be construed as offensive on some level to anybody around me or passing me by or reading a message board frequented by thousands of people across the world then I'd be a damn mute.

The number of gay people on this board or disabled people on this board is pretty low too, but out of respect there are still people who choose not to use words that would be offensive to them.

And maybe you've made the point for me.  Because you never know if by using the word you could be offending someone, maybe the best solution is just not to use the word at all. 

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

I don't spend my life worrying about it either.  But if there are certain things that I KNOW offend others, I try my best to avoid doing them or saying them in public in general.  That doesn't mean I enter every public situation wondering "is this going to offend someone", it's that I avoid doing the things I already know could be offensive.  And then, if by chance I do something at that point that offends someone at the time, I add it to my list of things not to do in the future.  It's not exhausting, it's just showing common courtesy, IMO.

I realize the lines are blurred on a public message board.  I'm assuming a lot of people say things here that they wouldn't in public - I'm certainly more up front about my faith and discuss things here that wouldn't be appropriate in a general discussion about religion in real life.  But I think there is still a level of respect shown in this forum by people and my point in posting was to discuss where we draw the line.  Why do we avoid being offensive sometimes but not always?

TefLepOM

NuggetBrain:

TefLepOM:

LucyHoneychrrch:

[

Because I do not spend my life constantly wondering if I'm offensive to other people.  That's no way to spend one's time.  It would be utterly exhausting, and ultimately counterproductive.

 

Really?   there are words I would never say.  It takes no time whatsoever.

Yes, but what if some of the words that you DO say are offensive?  That's the issue.  Not continuing to do what you already do, but to start adjusting and changing to avoid possibly offending someone.  And the snowball effect, because when do you stop worrying about it?

eh, if I use a word and someone calls me on it, I try to stop if I care for the,.  It is not hard.  Personally, I am not offended by jfc .  I don't use it, but I don't find offensive.  I don't agree that this is what using his name in vain means (I see it more as "I am doing gods will" or "we are on a mission from god" etc).  I just find this whole thread silly as she said it was flame worthy and, bam, the as bat signal went out.  

Dylanite

TefLepOM:

who is preaching this?  You know my stance on, say, the r word.  No secret and I gave up that discussion with you long ago.  I was agreeing with what you said as I figured those discussions were why you quoted me and stated "saying one isn't...." sealed that interpretation for me.  I just expanded/discussed what you sounded as if you were laying down.::shrugs::

Not saying anyone is preaching it right now, but it's relative to the topic and that's where I was coming from. I wasn't making a jab at you, just expanding on the discussion.

+adamwife+

broccolitree:

Speaking of the meaning of words, ironically I always took the other definition of vain. So this handswringing over how much it hurts you because you're so much more devvout than everyone else is, tome, taking te lord's name in vain. It goes hand in hand with the verses about praying quietly in the closet ratherthan loudly on the street corner. I have no idea what the actual words and their connotations are in the original text, though.

This is interesting.  I can see how you would interpret it that way.  So do you feel that anyone that is vocal about their faith is doing that?  Should we all be silent about our faith and the way we live it out?  I'm not being snarky or argumentative, I'm just honestly curious about your interpretation.

Just wanted to say that my intent in posting isn't to appear any more devout than anyone else.  As I've said many times in this thread, I am not without sin.  This is certainly something that I choose not to do (using the Lord's name in vain), but it doesn't mean I am any better than anyone else.  I'm not implying that and I'm sorry if that's how it comes across.

mysticporter

BeebeeEater:

mysticporter:

In a random note, is anyone offended by "Effing pink unicorn"?  I kind of like it.

I am deeply offended.

As a unicorn conservationist and lover of all things pink, I'd like to request that you refrain from using such a derogatory expression about the things I hold dear. 

Bummer.  What about beavers? Fwucking beaver dam it! It works on levels from the corny to the obscene.

Dylanite

broccolitree:

Speaking of the meaning of words, ironically I always took the other definition of vain. So this handswringing over how much it hurts you because you're so much more devvout than everyone else is, tome, taking te lord's name in vain. It goes hand in hand with the verses about praying quietly in the closet ratherthan loudly on the street corner. I have no idea what the actual words and their connotations are in the original text, though.

Matthew 6:6 I think.  Relative to Tim Tebow.

LucyHoneychrrch

 Why do we avoid being offensive sometimes but not always?

Because I think there's a line between trying to be unoffensive and censoring what you say.  I suspect most people, like me, type on these boards in a stream-of-consciousness way, which means the tone ends up conversational and impulsive.  And people impulsively use these terms, the same way they swear impulsively. 

By the same token, that sort of self-censorship is difficult to gauge on a message board.  Do you ALWAYS refrain from blaspheming, just on the off chance someone is reading who could be offended?  And is it a forum in which that sort of censorship is even necessary? 

If I was posting on a theology board, or on a Christian website, I would naturally refrain from blaspheming.  But on boards like the Nest, it honestly doesn't seem to be the norm to hold back on that sort of thing.  For heaven's sake, we have people posting about truly disgusting stuff.  Taking the Lord's name in vain seems like a very minor infraction when compared to the girl who posted about leaving a tampon in for over a month.

And then there's the question of how many?  How many people should be offended before the boards change their tone and behavior entirely?  Do we bend over backwards to accommodate the one poster who says they find it offensive?  Or if one poster is offended by it, is that poster perhaps just not a good fit for the board at large?

 

rayskit10

I only got through 2 pages of responses so forgive me if someone else already asked this, but is "omg my god" with a little g any different?

While I am am Atheist, I am respectful of faith, so long as it doesn't veer in to hatred and bigotry. I went to a Catholic college and took so many theology classes I could have declared it a 2nd minor. Anyway, I have huge amounts of respect for most of my friends who are religious. My ILs are super southern Baptist (although my husband is a backslider). I would never use religious terms as an expletive in front of them, or actually in front of any person I knew to be religious

BUT when I am typing I often say "oh my god" or something like that but I always use a little g because I don't believe in the Christian God so there is no reason for me to use it as a proper noun. So, perhaps it makes a difference because it's not the God AW believes in? Just curious