Join our Sexathon! Enter to Win 4 Nights in St. Lucia

k8tmcgrady@yahoo.com

My husband and I spent 3 months overseas volunteering with non-profits, and when we got back to the states, we decided to move in with my parents in order to save money and buy a house sometime this year. However, living with my parents and 18 year old brother can be a challenge when it comes to our sex lives. It has been a struggle for us to feel 'free' to be sexy with each other, and have sex period! This is what it comes down to for us: prioritizing sex is prioritizing intimacy with the one we love. If we can't prioritize sex, everything else in our marriage will start to feel strained. We all know that sex is a stress reliever, and without it I know we seem to carry more stress and are more tense which bleeds into everything else in life. So here is my advice: Prioritize sex, prioritize intimacy and being naked together, tell your spouse you love them like you do on Valentines Day, but make it an EVERYDAY event. We even make up songs together while being naked at night, "Dance Party In Bed!" After spending the last 9 MONTHS living in hostels and tents and now in a bedroom rented from my parents, we have truly learned how important SEX is. And, that it is absolutely the BEST THING on earth!

karal4

We keep sex a priority first by zeroing in on mood-killers and knocking them out. Being tired is a huge reason many couples' sex lives dwindle--yet there's usually always time and energy for tv, facebook, texting, etc. My husband and I do not have cable, and we limit our computer time.We also go to bed an hour early to have some fun when we still have some energy left instead of trying to muster it up when we're dropping into bed exhausted.

 We also exercise together--it makes us feel good about our bodies, makes us feel sexier in the bedroom, and revs our energy. 

 Finally, we do nice things for each other to make the other feel special. My husband feels good when I clean (I -hate- cleaning, so he knows I'm putting forth effort for him when I do it), especially the laundry and dishes which we both hate. I feel more attracted to him when he cuddles with me and he surprises me with something (like picking up a favorite snack on the way home or something), it makes me feel like he is thinking of me. 

 Sex is just one component, it'll come if you nurture the other aspects of your relationship. 

kendallplattner

Have you every heard women say that lingerie is such a waste because you never use it after the honeymoon?  Well, dust it off an put it on!  I have made a point to keep using the lingerie that I got for our wedding night.  It lets him know that I want him.  Now.

mcztbax

There is nothing like the words "I love you" sincerely and seductively spoken to heat up any sex life.  When my husband whispers that in my ear....that's all it takes, and that's even after 25 years of marriage. 

caiter4

I send him outrageous or sexy text messages when we're at work so he knows what's coming later

gooroogirl

How many times have you searched the internet for advice on keeping your sex life sizzling only to try out a piece of advice and be disappointed with the lack-luster results?  While there is a lot of good advice out there, it tends to be very specific to what worked for one couple.  How do you know if it will work for you?  We all need to remember that the first and most important step, is communication.  While communication may seem obvious or totally unrelated to sex, it is the only way to make sure your partner will be pleased with your latest sack-session idea.  Why not take some time and find out if your partner prefers sensual massages in a candle lit room, or a more wild mood with rock music blaring as you shout dirty words.  You might be surprised to find out your partner has a secret desire to take some naughty photos, or you may realize sex toys aren't really their thing.  It seems too many couples make assumptions about what their partner desires because it's what they want.  Come to find out, my husband isn't a fan of massages, but I love them!  I can feel sexy in a t-shirt and jeans, but my husband loves it when I wear something slinky around the house and flirt with him.  Communication will reveal so much about what you and your partner expect from your sex life: from the time of day you prefer to do the deed, to the turn-ons you love the most.  Once you understand your partner's desires, you'll feel confident the next time you search the boards and find a specific piece of advice you'd like to try out.  So before you jump between the sheets next time, try having a conversation about what you both want most from your sex life.  It will make a huge difference!

Brandon's Queen

we just try new things that we either havent tried before or havent used in a long time. we try to seduce each other in different ways. we just try to make our lives easier for each other so that we can have the energy to want each other. with 3 kids, one being only a week and a half old, its hard to find the time but we do what we can.

Nora_Charles

We are both super busy with work, but something that always gets us in the mood (though not for the reason you may think) is... (drumroll)... Classic literature based porn. We pick out something ridiculous that is based in something we both are super familiar with (Midsummer Night's Cream, Hamlet xxx, Nicholas Dickalby) and laugh our butts off at the liberties the adaptations take to make it sexy (Puck as a nubile woman, a death-less Hamlet, etc.). The combo of the taboo of porn and the silly humor and giggles we get from how bad it is really gets us in the mood and affirms our intimacy comes from our identical sense of humor!

tayla2332

we make sure we are both constantly trying to keep sex a priority in our lives. Its easy to get caught up in all of the chaos of life but we both try to make sure we make time for each other. we work opposite shifts of each other so it can get tough. Usually on his day off is "our time."

Rells_03

My husband and I have been together for a total of 7 1/2 years (1 1/2 married).  We've learned over the years that our libidos don't always match up.  We've done many things to work on our sex life...showering together, flirting, sexy texts, etc.  But my favorite way to keep our sex life hot is to allow my husband to go to bed about a half hour to an hour before me.  I make sure it's just enough time for him to fall asleep.  Then, I sneak into bed and start off kissing his neck and whispering in his ear. Before I know it, he's awake and ready to go!!  The first time I tried this, he had no idea what hit him!!  LOL!!  He's never turned me down when I do this!!

kyrgyzstan

If either of us wants to, the other at least tries to get themselves in the mood too.

shorty14456

we like to go out and joke around and mildly embarass eachother while we run errands then come home and get extra flirty while we cook or clean around the house to let one thing lead to another, all about being spontaneous and keeping life fun, happy, and enjoyable.

shorty14456

bettse

Sex, PDA, and confidence. Since it's our first year as a married couple we try our best to keep things fresh. So we have sex almost every night! It's also a priority in our relationship to keep our sex life exciting so PDA plays a key role as well as boosting each other's self image. He tells me I'm beautiful/sexy everyday and I tell him he is the sexiest hubby in the world. Confidence in our own skin as well as finding one another sexy is so important in our sex life. 

Also taking a honeymoon in St. Lucia would help as well, but good luck to everyone! 

TwlceTheSplce

Massages really do the trick! Love them.

ponceea

It may seem silly, but we eat dinner together at the table every night. This gives us uninterrupted time to connect emotionally and that really helps us to connect on a physical level later in the night!

bambam84

We have to constantly change up our sex lives.  First of all our cycleshas never matched up.  He's in the mood one week and I will be in the mood a couple of weeks later.  In between we are both just so tired from work and everything else, we don't even think about it.  So to get us in the mood, we made up our own sex game consisting of stripping, teasing, sensual touch, sex to the point of just before climax.  We have also played the bondage 101 game for a while. The bondage 101 game will get anyone in the mood fast.  It ranges from teasing to being a dominatrix.  But my all time favorite right now is acting like the Spartacus (an original show that airs on Starz) characters.  I would be domina and my husband the gladiator that has to do as I please and if I am satisfied he gets a big reward as well.  I suggest changing things up once in a while.  We have been together for a total of 9 years but married almost 2 of those years and we still get hot for each other the times we are very physical with each other.

jillzyc

Our goal is to be intimate at least twice a week.  It works because we don't have it "scheduled" like one more thing on our to-do lists, but we both keep in mind whether we've met the goal yet.  I work days and go to school at night, and my H works midnights, so we have to get it when we can!  We'll get dinner going then play "beat the dinner" (the cooking-at-home version of "beat the pizza guy"), or we'll talk about a past or future trip and that gets our minds on what we fondly refer to as "vacation sex" -- which leads to vacation sex at home.  If we're going out, we will often take care of business before we leave -- that way there's no risk of us being too tired to do it when we get home.  When we get busy before we go out, it makes our time out more exciting because we have that closeness, but also the thrill of our little secret.  ;-)    

ZebraPrincess

We communicate with each other. Talking things out and letting each know how we are both feeling has been a great asset. Really talking is just as important as a good sex life.   

NoLaLinz

We like to take it back to basics...meaning nature. Sometimes there is nothing hotter than sex in semi-public places. I.e. a quickie on a hiking trail, in a cave, by the campfire, or even while swimming in a lake/ocean!

jln05003

I would say my number one piece of advice to keep your sex-life important is to MAKE IT IMPORTANT!  You might have to actually get out a pen and paper for this one, folks.  Schedule, plan, organize, and prioritize your spouse.  Take a look at all your responsibilities; life is busy.  Will the trash go anywhere if you wait to take it out?  Will Oprah be angry if you miss her next episode?  Could the car go one more day without a wash?  Now, your wife or your husband...how will they feel if you put them off one more day?

My husband and I know how hard it is to juggle everyday things.  We were both in college when we got married and put off the honeymoon because of it. There were just too many things to take care of, aside from our sex-life. Looking back now, I realize how important that week would have been for us. Jumping right back into work, school, and family the day after our wedding was hectic for sure.

So we made lemonade out of lemons.  Yes, we did lose the opportunity for the dream honeymoon, but what we didn't lose was our spirit.  Our favorite foreplay is role-play.  We will take a different country each night and improvise.  We might let the culture of that country alter our accents, clothing, personalities, names, etc.  The key is just having fun!

A little secret?  We haven't had a "honeymoon", but we do have a new adventure every night!

rj2012

My Husband and I keep things sizzling in the bedroom, by starting our night of fun in the kitchen. We really enjoy cooking together and to get things spicy- we cook naked. A nice glass of wine, lights dimmed and candles lit and of course some sexy music from the Pandora station (Sex Therapy)- I highly recommend this one Which usually leads to us dancing in the middle of the kitchen and all the way into the bathroom to wash each other up in the shower...... it helps us to de-stress and get turned on. After our shower, we make it to our bedroom, which has no tv- we try to keep our bedroom our sugar nest( sex and sleep only). In our bedroom, we have a rule: leave all our problems and stress at the door.

 To keep things hot, we have a variety of toys, lube, condoms, and sexy clothes to choose from.  We try to mix things up and the key is to vocalize exactly what you like and what you want- it's a win-win.

JacquelineBessette

For us both to enjoy we have to both be in the mood - so for my husband I send little messages throughout the day saying I am looking forward to him helping me relax and make him smile....for me he lets me take time to shower, relax and get ready witht the right clothes, hair, and a little makeup.....then we light the candels and start slow...until we can't stand going slow, then enjoy! 

BleednBrntOrange

1.  BleednBrntOrange

 

2.  My husband and I use several ideas to keep our sex life smokin' and exciting!  We try to have "date nights" as often as possible.  I also enjoy surprising him when he comes home for work to find me in lingerie in front of the stove, cooking up his favorite meal.  

I recently had a major back surgery (December) and I wasn't able to have sex for several weeks.  To keep things steamy, we instituted "Undy Monday" (pronounced Undy Mundy).  It's an excellent way to start off the week, and we've found that having a "planned" night of intimacy stirs up so much anticipation and excitement in both of us.  I also made a big deal about counting down the days until I was medically cleared for sex.  I think it's important to really celebrate sex in the marriage, and it also increases the excitement.

On days other than Monday, we constantly flirt with each other.  I love teasing my husband by climbing in his lap when he's watching tv in the easy chair.  I give him a steamy passionate kiss, then get up and walk away like nothing happened.  It drives him wild.  We also flirt with silly sayings we have and little sexy glances.  Sometimes it's the little things that really fire us up.

Our number one rule is to have fun with it. 

LovelyChika

For 7 months straight I send him photos we email and flirt with each other every day as much as possible. We get to talk one day a week and revive our marriage and communication even though we are 1000 of miles away and when he finally returns from Iraq I have our reunion all planned out.

I buy lingerie and wine and flowers and have everything ready for our first time, nothing like a first time all over again and falling in love for the first time all over again.

 

Now we are expecting out first baby 

sushi&wasabi

We love to pretend like we are teens again and we need to keep it "hidden."  Whether this is a night at a hotel or some fun in the park (danger is fun!) getting out of our everyday lives and completely letting go into our sex drive helps like nothing else!

ladyeyes18

watching a dirty movie or just a good ol' spontaneous BJ does the trick

latinachica29

We try to build up the anticipation throughout the day or week. There's lots of kissing, touching, massaging, and sweet whispers. We really just try to be sensitive to each others needs and build each other up. In the end, we're eager to hit the sheets, or couch, or floor, or....

ChristineMarkB

We read each other "the good parts" of a hot and naughty romance novel.  It's like porn but read directly from your partner's lips

jilliosanderson

Our sex life is great because of how we treat each other outside the bedroom. My husband is so considerate of me, helps me when I'm cooking or cleaning and treats me with gentleness and kindness each day. I, in return, treat him with the utmost respect and love being in his company. It's easy for us to want to have sex all the time because I admire and respect the man I'm having sex with and he loves the woman with whom he is making love.

rosegardengazebo930

our schedules often get crazy so at night we usually get tired, but about once a week or at least twice a month we will make some time and effort to get busy! whoever gets home first cleans up our bedroom and lights some candles and if its me i put on something sexy...if its him hes usually naked! lol

also since our schedules are busy and night time usually just means we want to sleep, we take andvantage of everymorning off together we can get and get busy after we both wake up!