Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Join our Sexathon! Enter to Win 4 Nights in St. Lucia
My husband and I just got married, and are already feeling the pressure and distraction from working long hours and busy schedules. Keeping our sex life alive and exciting is really important to us, so we dont' want to loose it to our hectic schedules! One thing that has worked for us has been having a few minutes to talk in the morning before work, and plan to have sex right when we get home. That way we dont' have any other distractions to get in the way when we walk in the door, and we look forward to it all day in the office! There may be a few fun text messages in there as well
It's nice to escape from the work day and turn the TV off, put on some sexy lingerie, and have dinner together afterwards.
On occasion...when we seemed to have fallen into a rut, I'll dress up for my husband. He will come home from work to find me dressed in pigtails and a jersey of his favorite sports team, apron with nothing underneath, baking cookies in lingerie, etc. He never knows when to expect it, so it keeps things fresh and exciting. I think it's important that the husband not be the only one to initiate sex. Stepping up and initiating shows your husband that you're attracted to him and that sex is important to you. I am typically pretty conservative, so he appreciates my efforts that much more!
My fiance and I have very hectic schedules between our daughter, a new puppy and opposite work schedules. But we have sex almost everyday. When my fiance comes home from work I put the baby down for her nap so we can eat and get it on before I go to work. We also go out every friday night and do something new. sometimes as a family and sometimes alone, but when we get home we always put our daughter in bed and then drink a little more wine talk about the fun we had. My fiance is always making me laugh and laughing for us usually leads to me jumping on top or vice versa!
My husband and I have been together for ten years and living together for three. So things can get pretty routine but we both put in effort to keep it hot and burning!!
Role Play- we are big role players!! We love the excitement of stepping outside of our comfort zone!!
Mini getaways- On special occassions (anniversaries and bdays) we check in a nice hotel even if its only an hour away from our home. The bedroom we sleep in every single night can get a little played out so we spice it up by checking in somewhere on a special night. This way we are free from the rest of the world and responsibilites and we can just enjoy each others company in a different bedroom where there's nothing else to do but have sex!!!
Kamasutra book- on the nightstand next to our bed!! We have tried almost all positions that's recommended in that book! LOL it certainly keeps our sex life feel new each time we try a different position!!! Sometimes it's just a laughing moment but we still find good (and odd) positions!!
FINALLY... What I think is the most important reason why our sex life remains passionate is because we FLIRT!!! We flirt all the time, everytime we see each other. Being together this long with a kid and dogs and stressful jobs and responsibilities, flirting seems to be keeping us young at heart! I always tell him how sexy he is, how great he is (in so many ways), how good he smells etc...In public, we touch each other (discreetly) in areas we know the other person likes and this makes us excited to get in to bed!!! We laugh and tease each other like when we were younger.
So our sex life is still passionate and full of lust and I hope it stays this way forever
To keep things sizzlin' in the bedroom, we start on the outside by maintaining a healthy balance of making time for eachother and giving eachother space. Like, my hubby's in between jobs right now and I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so sometimes we get on eachother's nerves. That's when we have announce a time-out and we'll separate to different rooms for a little bit or one of us will go hang out with friends for an hour or two. But when we come back together, it usually ends up with the best "make-up sex" imaginable, 'cause all we needed was a little bit of space. Apparently it's true what they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "absence is an aphrodisiac." But, sometimes it seems like we don't get enough of eachother. Like, sometimes I get so caught up in taking care of our 4-month-old daughter and sometimes my hubby will get so caught up in job-hunting and taking care of additional responsibilities, that we've gone ? of the day without communicating, except for a mumbled "Mornin'" or the occasional "I love you." When we realize that, we're like "ok, let's drop what we're doing asap and set aside some time for eachother." Then we'll spend quality time w/eachother, whether it's snuggling on the couch and watching a movie together, dropping the baby off w/grandma and grandpa and heading to Starbucks to socialize over a lemon poundcake and coffee, or curling up in bed and reading a book together. Usually it ends up in flirting, and sometimes sex.
Another thing I tried recently: I sent him a naughty pic message of me after a shower with a sexy caption. Let's just say that I'll definitely try that one again (wink wink). Also we try not to forget the little things we did while we were dating. Like, I find that flirting ? when it's not overdone ? gets his heart racing. Sometimes all it takes is a random seducing glance ? or prancing around in a lacy thong and bra...or no clothes at all
? before we're "rolling
around" on the living room floor or chasing eachother up the
stairs to dive under the sheets and strip eachother's clothes off. I
find that foreplay throughout the day usually does the trick, like
"making out" or "heavy petting" during random
times. Also, since I'm usually the one to initiate sex, sometimes to
the point of pestering my hubby, I'll take a step back and let him
come onto me and chase me in his own time, which usually does the
trick. Also, I've written him a couple of "love letters"
about what I want to do to him sexually, which gets us both super
horny. We also have a text messaging code that we picked off of How
I Met Your Mother: One of us will text "?" to the other,
which means something along the lines of "do you wanna bang?"
And the other one will answer back "!" if it's a "yes,"
which it usually is.
I hope these tricks that we've picked up as newlyweds help you to keep your time in the bedroom on fire! Just remember to have fun w/eachother and be flirty. Use your imagination and respect and love eachother. Stay true to your vows. Create safety and trust in your marriage...the super hot sex will follow
The best way to spice things up is to be spontanious. With the world we live in being so scheduled all the time; work, school, birthday parties and business events constantly on the calendar, I think the best way to keep things sexy in the bedroom is be unexpected. We love surprising each other with something sexy when we get home. Having a bedroom full of candles and lingerie on when your husband gets home sparks a bit of romance and naughtiness, it's nice to be romantic for your man just as much as you want him to be romantic for you. Surprising my husband with nothing but an apron on and cooking dinner is always a lovely start to any sexy evening! Or my husband sneaking up on me in the laundry room and wanting nothing more but me, now. Who doesn't love that? The more spontanious the better, at least thats the way it is in our house!
Girls, you want to know how to keep the bedroom sizzling??
Men experience a majority of their LIBIDO in the A.M.
So when the "snooze" alarm starts blaring, don't press the button for 10 more minutes! Instead you should be taking advantage of the gentile morning lighting, and move in closer for the "spoon" position. Which when applied correctly (i.e. less clothing is best) reminds your dewy man of your sensual curves... which leads to touching, kissing, and before you know it...!
Your man will start his day feeling GREAT! When he comes home from work, I guarantee he'll tell you he was thinking about you all day! Which will only lead to the hot romance and intimacy again and again!
Isn't waking up early fun for a change !Girls, you want to know how to keep the bedroom sizzling??
Men experience a majority of their LIBIDO in the A.M.
So when the "snooze" alarm starts blaring, don't press the button for 10 more minutes! Instead you should be taking advantage of the gentile morning lighting, and move in closer for the "spoon" position. Which when applied correctly (i.e. less clothing is best) reminds your dewy man of your sensual curves... which leads to touching, kissing, and before you know it...!
Your man will start his day feeling GREAT! When he comes home from work, I guarantee he'll tell you he was thinking about you all day! Which will only lead to the hot romance and intimacy again and again!
Isn't waking up early fun for a change !It is easy to get into a rut, but I find that changing things up regularly does the trick! He usually gets home after I do so I like to surprise him whenever I can -- wear sexy outfits, reward him with a nice massage, or draw a bath for both of us. My favorite was when I sent him a cupcake for dessert at work with a note that said: "Have something sweet now, and expect something sweeter later!" That evening I greeted him in the kitchen wearing a cute little apron, some wine, and a great night! It seems like a lot of planning, but spontaneity sometimes is the best way to get out of a rut.
-Karvid
I LOVE my husband more than anything! Thats what gets me in the mood. We need this vacation!! PLEASE PICK US!!!
we have no tv in the bedroom.
often we'll order sushi or some food we really love for dinner in bed and just enjoy it and each other.
also from a quick getaway drive a few hours away to international trips we try and always have a trip planned even if a few months out in order to look forward to uninterrupted sweet time together.
OUR BIO
We were married three weeks ago in Cabo San Lucas - our wedding week with family and friends was too busy and exhausting for sexy time...once we got back home we tried to make up for lost time by making a pact to avoid making plans with friends, and to spend at least four hours a weekend in bed.
Once we were spending time in bed together, our relaxed vibe made it that much easier to celebrate our newlywed status!
We can't afford to plan a honeymoon yet because we paid for our wedding ourselves...but looking at different options has been very sexy!
K&J's best advice on keeping sex at the top of your priority list:
The love of my life and I have eight years under our belts. Things were easy at 18 with him being 20- college life was great by itself and being with him was the icing on the cake! Today is- just as it was then- simply amazing; we've just had to put some work into making it that way.
My husband and I have somewhat of a unique challenge added to the struggle of keeping priorities in order, since we not only are residential partners we are also co-workers. Together we manage a household, marriage, friendship and a corporation... so as you can imagine daily routines run our lives, but not our sex lives. If we can make the sparks fly than so can you- here are our rules:
1.) Keep work on a leash.
Work will always have its moments that carry over. The trick is to keep them as just that... moments. Watch the clock, a little venting is great for you to get what's bothering you off your mind, and give your spouse a chance to understand your day and bond. But that is it. Most of the time things are out of our control and dragging them around will not be healthy. Do both of you a favor and let go of what you can't fix that very moment.
2.) Show Appreciation.
Whatever it is that your spouse did that helped you today (and there is ALWAYS something! After all you married them for a reason, find one.) let them know that despite all your work troubles, that simple thing they did, made you smile and forget what else is bothering you. Show him/her that you are happy to have them to come home to.
*clean socks, took the trash out, washed their toothpaste spit out of the sink so you could wash your face in a clean sink... come on find something.
3.) Spit Shine.
Don't forget the most important part of keeping something a priority, that's the prep work. And prep work for making 'love' happen is working on yourself, and you being happy with you. You should of put away the daily drama, gave a compliment to your spouse and made them feel appreciated and valued, so do yourself the favor. Appreciate your own self, weather it is a shower, shave, pedicure, working out; make yourself feel valued by you. Your spouse will pick up on your good vibes and will reciprocate the praise.
4.) The- We Can't Game
I'm not sure if this works for all, but if you want chocolate- crave chocolate- go crazy for chocolate just a few moments after you decide to go on a diet this is what to do to keep sex with your partner a priority (after you have followed the previous steps 1-3).
Spend one on one time with each other; don?t think about expectations of the night/day. Think of one bad, no really bad, excuse you couldn?t have sex with one another right now. Make it sucky? share that reason with the other. Then think of another, bad or even worse of reason, and share it too. (Make sure to be saying the full on sentence each time- ?we can?t have sex because.?
If your partner will join in ? the two of you will be laughing and light hearted quickly if you play right! And then? the inevitable happens; after all we are human. We want what we think we can?t have.
5.) Routine Maintenance Checks.
Just because the car started yesterday, doesn?t mean it will next month.
And just because you found time for sex with your partner yesterday doesn?t mean you?re in a routine.
Maintenance is required for so many things and sex is of no exemption. Triple T- Threats are the worst diagnosis: Time, troubles, and tiredness. But there is a cure; again you have to put in the work.
You know your priorities, and if you?re not finding the time to have intimate moments it is because you?re not managing them correctly. Fix your schedule. Troubles that can be fixed put in order of priority and nock out the easy ones first, space out the difficult fixing tasks into workable segments, and remember step 1 above. Fix it or forget it for the home life.
As for being tired- that should balance out after fixing schedule and getting back on task with stress, but do allow yourself time to prep yourself- that may include a night of sleep instead of a movie together, but when date night happens make it comfortable and do not focus on what you could do but once again, what you ?can?t do?- and soon enough you?ll be back on track with your significant other loving life, and your sex life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We hope these rules can be applied to more than just us, and the ?tricks and tips? one may find to spice it up, all have their place & can be inserted into the above model. The work you do in making it your own, is exactly what makes your relationship special, its because YOU are doing the WORK. And that my friend is what makes it all happen! Enjoy.
K&J's best advice on keeping sex at the top of your priority list!
A note of one fun site to also lighten the mode that has given us free laughs is http://hoochymail.com/ I read about it in a magazine, and my husband and I busted up reading our own fiction. It is really nifty that you can e-mail it to your special someone too- so it adds some fun on when and where they might get to enjoy it!
Username: EEangel84
Keeping things spicy, different, and fun. There are MANY different things you can do to keep your sex life going. Each week I pick one or two days where I choose some sort of different activity to do. Things I choose from; sexy outifts, shower play, massage, toys, etc. I sepearte these throughout the month to keep things exciting. Keeping fit is also a great way to keep your sex life hot! You would be surprised the difference when you lose a few pounds and gain some energy. Since we have lived together we take many overnight trips and role play in different places. Over night trips are far and few between so you make them WILD! This is when you break out all the tricks! Once you get bored with your partner, the less you want sex, and the less you try to make it spicy. Get back in the groove by doing something fun! Could start a whole new relationship with your spouse!
We take the day off from classes and work and start out by making out like high schoolers. We keep everything above the waist until we are both so turned on that we are ready to rip our clothes off.