Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Godly advice, please. I'm at a loss.
Are you serious?
I consider myself to be a Christian (I'm only guessing that's what you are?), but there's not a cold chance in hell I'd take a cheating husband back. So if he did that, would you also stick around if he for some reason decides to start smacking you around? Are you also going to be the little meek submissive wife who does everything the man tells her to? To be honest, you kind of sound like a doormat trying to disguise yourself in religious clothing.
I hope you haven't told HIM that it's ok to go ahead and cheat and you'll take him back, you're setting yourself up for a disaster of an unhappy marriage.
Wow...just...wow.
Ha, welcome to the Nest, ye of 9 posts. If you can't wait to tell everyone how rude they are, I'm guessing there will be a GBCN very quickly.
It is NOT fantasy and primitive. I'm sorry YOU'VE had a bad experience with forever (assuming from your posts, I do not know for sure. You have not outrightedly said so). My sister is going through a divorce with a 5 day old baby.
I don't know what kind of views you hold. You are trying to be so mysterious and not tell me (which I don't care either way) You get mad at me if I assume you are a Christian or if you are not one. I have no idea what your views are, but nevertheless, they are different from mine.
Oh dear b/c I only have 9 posts, I'm clearly an idiot. I'm not on here to tell people they're rude, but honey if the shoe fits. For the record I only have 10 posts b/c unlike some of y'all I don't sit on here all day.
Um, FYI, not only is your husband apparently cheating on you, he's also stupid beyond belief. Looking at porn at work is about the fastest possible way to get yourself fired.....
I DO take him as he is. I LOVE him. I don't want him to look but what I'm dealing with now is the hurt of not being the only woman in his eyes. Not the task of trying to change him.
You are right; I should have waited until marriage. I never said he wasn't the one though. I sincerely believe he is. I am just hurting. That is all. And I don't believe in divorce because I think a lot of people use it as a cop out. Like my ex-brother-in-law.
Trust me, I've told him. (not as rough but same context.)
Well, you deserve all the pain and STDs you get! Early congratulations on your wedding and the rest of your miserable life!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
what about couples counseling?
what does he do for a living that he can watch porn at work?
Honey, I think you got it mixed up. God has nothing to do with what you are doing. What you are doing is based on your own core values and morals, and has nothing to do with what God wants. It may be apart of your church based on what they believe about Christianity but not as Christianity is as a whole.
You both need professional psychological help. You are both insecure and have some really low self esteem. Along with a slew of other issues and problems. Seriously, staying with a serial cheater is insane and should never be tolerated.
I think what people are getting "uptight" about is that you are still trying to take your examples of life from a fictional book of lessons and teaching made thousands of years ago. In today's age, things have changed a lot. I mean A LOT. Women can vote, hold down jobs, while raising a family, and *gasp* the man can be the stay at home parent. You live in an age where you can get a machine to make your food, clean your house and drive your car. Do you really think that the same lessons from an age where you had to poop in a hole in the dirt are relevant?
I know God doesn't. I know that for sure. And I don't mean to use it as an excuse. I apologize for coming off that way wherever I did.
Maybe the problem between you and your husband is that you are "not as rough" as you need to be! You sound like you have zero self esteem and major communication issues. If you want him to stop "cheating" on you, be a little rough! If he's worth half of what you think he is (and I bet he's not), he'll stop. Or else, you deserve what you get.
Oh, I am not crazy. Well, maybe a little
Well, if you want Godly advice, here you go.
Sinning does mean you're stuck in the sin forever ever and doomed to being miserable for all eternity. Yes, you sinned by having sex before marriage. But there isn't a thing in the Bible that says you have to marry the person you had premarital sex with. You just don't.
What you've written here makes it sound as if you are not ready for marriage and that this isn't the right man for you. If you truly believe that the husband is the head of the household then you shouldn't marry a man who struggle with such a large sin and has no problem carrying on others with you.
You can't marry until you yourself feel right with God and you can't marry this man until he's gotten right with God.
You can, however, avoid a bigger sin by marrying this man knowing that he is not the godly man he is expected to be. It would only cause heartache for the both of you and a miserable life. Either your H knows he's sinning and he doesn't care or he doesn't agree that he's sinning and if you married him you'd be unequally yoked.
If you truly believe that viewing porn and sex before marriage are sins, then you need to repent of it and leave a relationship with a man who does both these things and find a man who does neither.
Sure, it's painful but I'm sure you know that God never promised it wouldn't. Disciplining his children and all that.
Click me, click me!
Oh thank you!! Glad to know you are chock-full of encouraging words!
We're not hear to give you encouraging words if we think that your making a mistake. We're telling you the painful truth and your choosing to ignore it.
I want my questions answered.
Thank you. That is the blunt God advice I was looking for. Shove that Book that I try to live out right back in my face. You are right. I did make a big no-no and now I am dealing with the consequences.
I bet it is an absolute wonderful feeling
Ps. I LOVE your signature. Romance!
Why, you're welcome! Seeing as you gave away you're most sacred gift... you might as well marry this guy because now you no longer have a gift to give. Oops!
You are completely defiling the santicty of marriage. It isn't gay people who do that, it isn't people who get divorced... it's people who knowingly enter into a marriage are are happy to make a mockery out of it by accepting cheating. Why be married at all?! The whole point is that it's the ultimate commitment to a person. Cheating =/= commitment, FYI.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Why are you not responding to any of the posts that give actual godly advice unless they agree that you should stay with him and continue to allow him to hurt you. God does not want you to be hurting like this! I mean seriously, leave this guy if he wont stop, or get couples counseling. If he was such a Godly head of household he would have refused premarital sex. You both sinned in that and he is sinning in this and that is a lot of unrepentant sin that you guys are living in. When you live in sin you suffer.
And seriously God does help those who help themselves.
Edit- I just saw your response to me. Good luck, life can be hard, but it will be ok.
Haha, that was cute
I would also remind you that if you are the Christian you say you are, you know that when you confess and repent of your sins, they are wiped away as if they never existed. That means you're as good as you were before you had sex with him and you can go on to marry someone else.
I'm not sure how you can believe that Jesus forgives all sins and cleanses us of them and then believe that because you sinned, you have to marry this man.
Is there some verse you're thinking of that I missed?
Click me, click me!
I think in my life, yes the Bible is still extremely relevant. I would rather be a homemaker like they were back then, make my own food than rely on something else to do it and take care of my babies. That's why it's called the Living Word of God. It continues no matter the age.
I don't have 0 self esteem. I'm just not rude to my man like most women have become to be. I think we have the communication thing downpat. We were in a long distance relationship for 1 year and 1/2 and all we had was the phone and communcation.
It's another "pick & choose" Christian. Whatever makes her appear to be the biggest martyr wins!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
You DO know there was no internet during Jesus's day... so I'd advise you to log off and get to working on your loom!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes