Mississippi Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Three bored nesties
Blah...that's NO fun!! I didn't realize they could make you so sick!
That's awesome!
Way to put a positive spin on it! I cannot believe how sick you were!!! That's crazy! mental note made to never miss a pill!
Glad you are feeling a little better though.
I've only gotten that sick when it's the first two pills in the pack. It's happened before, just not quite THAT bad. I think it probably also has something to do with the fact that I had skipped two periods on purpose using my pills because I was travelling at the time. So I had 3 months of straight hormones, then a week of placebo, then the two strongest hormone pills on the same day. It was a disaster waiting to happen!
I'm having a total bridezilla/momtobezilla day today. Let me see if I can get all this out without sounding too much like a brat. This is REALLY long, by the way...
1. I haven't really wanted a shower. I have a lot of "friends" but I keep them at arms length because girls are a pain in the @ss and drama always seems to come with having lots of good girlfriends. We keep up on fb and whatnot, but after being burned and seeing a lot of drama I've just chosen to really be careful with being close with people. As soon as I found out I was preg my closest girlfriend (who wouldn't let me not be close no matter how hard I might try) started talking about my shower. I finally shut her down this weekend by saying I wasn't really sure I wanted a shower and we would discuss it later (bc we were txting and it was too much to explain). I just feel weird being like "Hi, I don't see you on a regular basis, but please come to my shower and buy my baby presents". I'm totally fine if you want to get together for dinner and bring the baby a present...I feel like I'm not soliciting that, but I don't want to ask/or expect that from anyone. So J just said "well, if you want one, know that I want to throw you one". Cool.
Well, at dinner with C's parents last night his mom says she was talking to one of her friends and we have to have a shower and this friend of his moms is apparently now involved in it or something??? and C and I just kind of looked at each other like, "oh here we go...". So I mentioned that J wanted to throw a shower and said that maybe they could get in touch so that we could just have one big shower/sip and see-my-bump type thing. OK, that seemed reasonable. Then his mom, who's a librarian, suggests having a "library shower" and everyone brings a book. I don't want a library shower. Trust me, this kid is not going to be at a shortage for books. If you're making me do this, I want stuff on my registry. (see??? mom-to-be-zilla here!!) For the record, our "registry" was made so we could keep track of what we've bought and what we still need to get, not because we expected gifts, and this way our parents (who yes, we do/did kind of expect gifts from) can see what we want. Anyway, I told her that books are great, but I think we'd prefer Emily receive things from her registry.
So then she says that she and her friend were thinking of having the shower at the beginning of May. If you have forgotten, I'm due May 12th. I can go anytime from April 29th on...there is no way in h3ll that I want my shower a week before my baby is due. I want to have everything in place by April 12th so I can just nest for my last month. The last thing I want to do is scramble to get blankets and all the other stuff while 8/9 months pregnant and swollen with cankles!!! If we weren't having a shower I wouldn't have to wait and we could be buying a little bit here and there, but we're being told not to buy anything because of this shower. I am SUCH a planner I'm having a hard time with this. Anyway, I think we managed to emphasize that The end of March is the latest we think the shower should be. So, expect an address request because I cannot imagine not inviting you two. Much in the same vein as SO's need to get our approval about moving, I also consider you two to be very close and I pretty much talk to you about everything. You guys actually know me better than a lot of people, and you've been with me every step of this preg.
2. C's mom really seems to want a wedding, like a REAL one with flowers and stuff. More than once she has suggested renting Rainbow Lodge and having the judge come to us. Last night she kept bringing up how a judge close to us has retired but he will travel to do weddings and what about getting married at the Waterwall? I said "well, then we'd have a lot of people we didn't invite hanging around". We picked the judge we picked because he performed my sisters ceremony, and we like the idea of keeping it in the family. We'd both rather just go to Vegas alone, but with Em on the way I'd rather spend the money that trip would cost on her.
Then she started talking about having the restaraunt (whatever we pick) do a special menu for us. Why can't everyone just order what they want? Why make it more than it needs to be? Yes, we're getting married and I know that's wonderful, but C and I forget we're not actually legally married because we're just SO married. We're making it official, but there doesn't need to be fuss. I want my hair done because I want pretty hair so I look pretty for him, I want my makeup done because I figure why not. But my dress isn't a wedding dress, and I'm not going to carry flowers, and why is this no longer becoming what we want but what his mom thinks we should have? My parents have been awesome "well, let us know. if you want us there, we'll be there, but if you don't, that's fine too." (I am extremely close to my parents, by the way, they just want me to do it how I want to.) Why can't everyone just say "tell us when and where to show up and we'll see you then!"??
And now there's a professional photographer. It's a family friend of theirs, and if we don't have to pay for it I guess I don't care, but I'd rather the money be spent on Emily's newborn pics than on wedding pics.
To top it off, I'm now having some sort of guilt about being knocked up before being married. I was raised with strict parents and getting pregnant before marriage is just something you don't do. So now I'm feeling ashamed of that and wondering how I'm going to tell my child to not get pregnant before getting married when I did it myself. And she wasn't even a total accident!!! She was seriously a planned surprise!
I think I'm having the beginnings of an anxiety attack and I don't know why I'm feeling all of this today all of a sudden. Is this pregnancy hormones? I am seriously about to just cry with all of this. And the thing is, it's all so stupid and selfish of me! I am a terrible person today.
Feisty calm down, and take a deep breath. Ahh.
When I think of baby showers I always think of the people who only throw them to get everything they need for the baby, in a greedy sense. Like seriously you should not be pregnant if you cannot afford to buy your children things. I have mostly come to this conclusion because I am like you and I keep people at arms length too, I have one best friend and my mom, thats pretty much it, I will not have a shower because I do not interact with these "friends" of mine on a day to day basis, therefor it's kind of rude to ask them to buy you a gift.
Just because you are having a baby don't mean you NEED a shower. Esp not that close to your dude date. Have a sip and see.
As far as the wedding, you two have more on your plate, and I commend you for understanding that. You guys are planning the most cost efficient, wedding that you two want. No need to throw a big extravaganza if that's not what you want.
You are not being a bridezilla, nor a momtobezilla, you are being realistic, and standing your ground.
Ps;
Don't feel ashamed because you got pregnant before marriage. You are not one night stands, or teenagers. You are grown adults who were committed to each other!
I adore you and that is all that matters, end of story. Lol.
I love you so much right now for getting it. I totally knew you would!!
First, I teared up a bit at the end of #1. I big pink puffy heart you two, and I'm so happy to be a part of your lives.
That said, you need to do what you and C want. Period. That's it. It's fantastic that people want to throw you a shower (which I would LOVE to come to if that's what you want to do) but if you don't want a shower, then tell them. I've seen people have "sprinkles" before (typically for a second baby, but it could work here too) where the invite clearly states it's just getting together to spend time together and see the bump and that gifts aren't expected. Then if people bring gifts, great. If not, that's fine too. Ultimately, though, it's about you, C, and E. Anything that will add stress or worry to you three is just bunk in my opinion. I'll tell anyone off that you need me to.
As for the wedding, again, what you want. If you don't want all the hoopla, you shouldn't have to deal with it. If getting your hair and makeup done are important, then do it for you (and C). Flowers don't make you any more married. I also agree with you on the menu thing. The only way I see if being a good idea is if it will help the place get the food out to a large group faster. But honestly, I think if you pre-order some appetizers and have them for people to munch while you wait for your food, you'll be fine.
And on the KU before marriage...WHATEVER. It happens. It's not a big deal. I know more people now that have been in that position than not I think. And they are fantastic people with wonderful children. This is just my little opinion (so take it for what you will) but I think it's more important to teach her to use her head abou things than a blanket don't get KU before marriage. Maybe graduate college first is a good one, but in this day, it's really not a big deal. It doesn't sound like your parents have an issue with it, and they raised you. It's more a lesson of be prepared, be old enough, be with the right person. Which you are on all three. So don't let any guilt bring you down for one more second...this is a happy, amazing time in your life, full of blessings. Enjoy them!
It probably is hormones, along with all the stress that these people are adding to you. Try to relax a little bit, and know that you are NOT a terrible person. C adores you (I know from an email
. You're about to have a wonderful little girl soon. Focus on the happy positive things. And if you need to get out and vent, I'm always up for ice cream.
I am so lucky to have you guys in my life!!! I knew you would both understand and would be able to validate my feelings so that I don't feel like I'm completely out of line. Thank god for the nest and the desire to raise our posting status because I got two amazing friends out of it!
I know his mom is excited and I'm glad that her friends (who have known C forever) are so excited for us, and it makes me happy that people want to share in all of our excitement. I'm not trying to be rude about that (and i feel like I am)...I think I just got a little overwhelmed with everything all of a sudden.
You two are better than the best!
I just wish his mom would be excited the way my mom is, by buying ridiculous amounts of pink clothing and understanding that we "registered" (read: made a list of all the things we intend to buy her before she arrives) for the things we want our child to have and we don't need opinions on the playmat that she won't use the day she pops out. She WILL use it around 4 weeks, and its not ridiculous to have it before she enters the world. I was a Brownie--I was taught to "Always Be Prepared".
I feel judgement from his mom on what we've picked out for her, but we started a baby fund as soon as we found out she was on the way and can easily afford everything on our list so we don't need to rely on anyone to help us with our registry. Maybe people don't understand why I want both a SIDS monitor and a video monitor, but if we can afford it and it will give me peace of mind I don't care what anyone thinks. Same goes for the swing and the bouncy seat--why do we need both? I had both when I was a baby (well, my seat didn't bounce) and I want Emily to have a variety of places to go to lounge and snooze and be comfy besides my arms and the floor. What happens when I have to pee????!!! I'm going to be home with this child ALL. DAY. LONG. by myself! Plus, I hear that they are awesome soothers for babies when they need something extra besides me.
It will probably be easier to talk with his mom when we're not in a noisy restaurant and she will understand that we really just want things easy and simple. We are the couple that love to hang out on the couch in our pjs, for goodness sake!!!
Here's the dress we picked out http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=905030022&MasterCategory_Id=MC3
It is SOOOOO comfy and I can grow between now and the 3rd without worrying that it won't fit. I also got a 1/2 sleeve black shrug to go over it. Thinking I'll get hot pink shoes for my feet. I'm sure Jessica Simpson has some out there that are cute!
I love it!! And hot pink shoes would look FANTASTIC with it!!! Love, love love!!
Did you include pictures?
Yep. I listed my wedding dress last night too. And I have that Chanel bag to sell, but I doubt I'll get that kind of money on CL. Probably need to ebay that one. I've been waiting for a nestielist post on Houston so I can put it on there. I may just make it a post on it's own though. I think nestielist was supposed to be Tuesday.
I have zero experience with both ebay and craigslist, however my sister sells stuff on CL ALL the time and makes tons of $. She's a sales genius!
I would ebay the Chanel, too. You'll get all kinds of wierdo's from CL I would think...
haha, I thought nestielists were thursday! Who knows?!
Well I looked back at last week and it was Wednesday. and I thougt she said she missed it the day before. I could be wrong though. haha
WAR- change of plans... What is your schedule on Feb. 10th? It has proved to be impossible to get a judge on the 3rd, so we moved it a week and got an appointment on the 10th at 3. (and that may not even work because my dad may or may not have an arbitration on the 10th). Anyway, I can't remember if you do hair first or makeup-figured I'd go to MAC for the makeup-so what is your opinion and availability?
Im off to price Vegas weddings bc other peoples schedules are pissing me off!
I bet you could go to New Orleans too! Not exactly Vegas, but closer, cheaper, and I bet you could make it work!
I bet you could go to New Orleans too! Not exactly Vegas, but closer, cheaper, and I bet you could make it work!
Oooh! Good idea!
We like to do hair before makeup. But really it's what you prefer.
So, if we do get married at 3 on the 10th, what time should I make my appt for? And I guess I schedule her separately to come to the salon? Wedding would be at the civil courthouse downtown, and I'm not opposed to changing in the bathroom at your salon and heading straight there... Or we could swing by C's office and change...
Awesome. I'll call & make an appt tomorrow assuming dad gets his thing moved. (sigh)
I told my mom about my freakout yesterday. In fact, I pretty much just copied and pasted what I wrote you guys and emailed it to her. She said it made her want to cry.
So when she got an email from C's mom today about the wedding and helping with anything she was able to reply that C & I have made it clear to them (my parents) that we want S I M P L E and no fuss, and that they'll be where we tell them to be, but otherwise she's hands-off. YAY Mom!!!
C stopped by his parents this evening to grab something and his mom started asking who was doing the flowers. C was like "there are no flowers" (sigh) and she wondered a few other things and finally C's dad said "you're complicating things again!!" HAHAHA! I'm pretty sure she has never been to a civil ceremony in a courtroom and at this point I just think she's out of her element and doesn't know what to expect.
I looked at bookit and the prices are really good but you make a good point, War, in that Vegas isn't exactly conducive to a pregnant lady. I was there 9 years ago and it took me a full week to decompress after 3 days there, not because I was so hungover but because it is just SO overstimulating and I was EXHAUSTED! I don't think that's the healthiest choice for me to make right now, so thank you for that reminder.
Fingers crossed that everything works out tomorrow and we can book our getaway at the Hill Country Resort. They have a mom-to-be spa package that I have gotten excited about!